Crews are going out of hours all across the network
Nobody is available on standby
Flights may need to be cancelled
We've tried calling those pilots on days off
But seems like everyone is ignoring our calls
Get Crew Control to call their next of kins
That'll teach them not to pick up
Crew Control have all resigned
The last 2 just walked out saying "fuck this shit"
Any pilots here who have applied to Norwegian, Jet2 or Wow, get out...
This is a disgrace!
Pilots are glorified taxi drivers!
Especially those contractor 'non-Ryanair' pilots!
If it weren't for me they'd be flying cargo planes
Full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong!
All because they want me to pay their Social Security??
Well they can fuck off to airlines that 'treat them fairly'
I'll replace them with monkeys that can press VNAV
Great leader they just want to be treated with a modicum of respect
They work about 19 hours per week
They work more than just the block hours
The planes fly themselves!
I read that somewhere
Tony Ryan told me...
'Treat Pilots mean, keep them keen'
Well that's come home to roost hasn't it
I've worked hard to instill a culture of fear and obnoxiousness
And they repay me by fucking off to other airlines
I hope they're happy with their 'salaries' and 'mortgage approvals'
They'll probably even get free uniforms the fuckin snobs
They can be all 'friendly' with their new management and get to know them by name
I hope they enjoy being spoken to like adults
And having their medicals paid for
And getting free tea / coffee!
They still moan about not getting tea or coffee
Or bottles of water
How could I make a Billion Euro company by giving away free water?
Or giving them 'pay rises'
'Even just in line with inflation'
Its ok, Stobart employs female pilots
At least we're still linking up with Norwegian for the long haul thing
And we've still got the 5/4 roster
We'll spin in to press that we messed up the holidays
They won't find out the real reason
The share price will be fine
Get me Ray on the phone please