00:00 - 00:03Mr Cameron, I have some terrible news
00:04 - 00:05Lord Ashcroft has told people about your pig story
00:05 - 00:07And the tabloids have already started publishing stories.
00:08 - 00:12There is not much we can do;
00:12 - 00:15Its all over the internet.
00:17 - 00:19We'll just deny it.
00:19 - 00:21They can't prove it happened.
00:24 - 00:26Mr Cameron
00:27 - 00:28Apparently...
00:31 - 00:33Apparently they have photo evidence.
00:34 - 00:36And Lord Ashcroft knows who has it.
00:53 - 00:58Anyone who made a meme about this on twitter, leave the room.
01:13 - 01:15This is a disaster
01:15 - 01:17Everyone thinks I stuck my junk in a pig
01:18 - 01:23This is complete character assassination
01:25 - 01:28How do I explain this to my wife? My kids?
01:29 - 01:31I'm going to kill Ashcroft
01:31 - 01:34And then stick my nuts in his decapitated head
01:34 - 01:37Then we'll see if he wants to spread shit about me.
01:37 - 01:40Fuck, this is just like Black Mirror
01:40 - 01:42Mr Cameron, the Twitter memes are spreading like wildfire
01:42 - 01:46Charlie Brooker can shove his pig jokes up his arse
01:46 - 01:48Mr Cameron, at least Louise Mensch is trying to defend you
01:48 - 01:52Louise Mensch doesn't know fuck about twitter
01:53 - 01:54She'll just make it worse
01:56 - 01:57What am I supposed to do?
01:57 - 02:00Everyone's going to vote labour
02:00 - 02:03Corbyn's a vegetarian for fuck's sake,
02:04 - 02:08How do I top that now?
02:08 - 02:13They're going to have to replace me with goddamned Boris Johnson
02:14 - 02:16And even I think he's a bellend
02:17 - 02:21And George Osbourne is even worse.
02:27 - 02:29Does anyone here have a suggestion?
02:30 - 02:34How do I deal with this,
02:34 - 02:36I can't use 'national security' to get out of this one.
02:41 - 02:42Maybe I should resign
02:43 - 02:47Or maybe just fucking kill myself.
02:48 - 02:53I was just a kid for gods sake
02:54 - 02:56Who hasn't abused dead pigs at uni?
02:56 - 02:59We can't all be bicycle riding protest attending goody two shoes
03:00 - 03:02Like that Jeremy Corbyn
03:04 - 03:07It's ok, I made a twitter meme too.
03:14 - 03:16Is this how it ends
03:19 - 03:23I always thought that pig would come back to haunt me
03:25 - 03:26And now it has its revenge
03:32 - 03:37Snoutrage will soon be trending
03:41 - 03:46At least there are some decent puns coming out of this
03:47 - 03:52"David Hameron"
03:53 - 03:58"Porkward"