| 00:00 - 00:03 | The Miami Heat have put all the good players on the same team |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They took the best players from here |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | here, and here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | LeBron was shit on his own in Cleveland |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And Chris Bosh was even worse in Toronto |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Well thank fuck we've still got Ray Allen |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | So the 3-ball is still our best weapon |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Ray... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | He bailed to the Heat |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | KG is pissed |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Whoever else wants to get an easy ring by joining the best team, can go to Miami right now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I got Ray Allen's Mom those seats |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | And now she's in Miami wearing a sequined Heat jersey |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | We would have battered the Raptors, the Cavs and the Heat |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | But now we got no chance |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I cant take Pat Riley as it is |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | But now the smug bastard is going to be unbearable |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And he'll probably get Phil Jackson to coach, just to guarantee a ring before the season even starts |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Boss, all signs point towards them keeping Eric Spoelstra as Coach and he's an idiot |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | You dont even need a Coach with Wade and LeBron on the same tea, |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | And Bosh will check KG |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, we all know that Chris Bosh is garbage for a man his size |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Yes, but every loser who wants a free ring will join them |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | And all of a sudden Norris Cole is going to look like an actual NBA point guard |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Paul Pierce can barely get off the ground |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Brandon Bass is usually asleep standing up |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Rondo is an angry child with no jump shot |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And we have Danny Ainge |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Who's got a brain the size of a walnut |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And all we got was Jeff Green |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | We give away Perk, who was the only guy we had over 200 lbs |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | What am I going to tell Kev? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | The guy who pounds his chest before every game |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | And headbutts the padded covering around the basket |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And Gino... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | We had built such momentum around that guy |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | His fluid hip motion, and the crowd lapping it up |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | They forgot we fucked the Westbrook trade |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | And god forbid they find out we've enquired about Dana Barros |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | If he can shoot the 3 still, then sign him up |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | He's kidding, Dana Barros is 65 years old |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We'll face the Knicks early in the Playoffs |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Carmelo Anthony will have a field day |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | And that kid with the high top |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | will go past Paul Pierce like a knife through butter |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Call KG's agent |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Tell him we'll probably get Chris Paul in the offseason |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Then call Dana |
