| 00:00 - 00:03 | Mr Chairman its official The Quiff has gone missing |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We have people all over Wales looking for him |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Llandudno, Taffs Wells and Barry Island are all covered |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We have trained sheep covering Brecon and Pembrokeshire |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | The Grinder Mark Layton is Head of Operations |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Who is covering Merthyr Tydfil ? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | This must be the focus of the search |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Chairman we are all shit scared of that place |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Even Danny Dyer wont go in the pubs |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | People called me baldy bastard |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We want time and half to go there |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | If you dont think Smith-Hayes is Welsh then leave the room now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Jim Fucking Williams |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I told you not to pick the twat |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Chris Bradley would take a leg off the Ginger Pisspot |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | The Ballbag is marrying that Fish girl |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | She was pissed on 3 Vodkas Lime and Soda |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I want this ballbag out of my life |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Mike Gillet is the face of Wales, not this freak |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Even Alker has a better cheek structure |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Chairman Quiff beat Aaron Dyer in the Denbeigh Open final last week |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Only because they couldnt get Nick Kenny out of the all you can eat Chinese |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | It wasnt Kenny it was Stephen Cake |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Both look like they were hiding a wok down their tops |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Get them all on diets. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I want them all looking like Tim Teapot Jones |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Williams has single-handedly turned us from Europa Champions to the laughing stock |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Even Souter made him look shite. Thats how bad he is |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Wayne Warren had to have 12 minute session on the sunbed to cheer himself up |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And Phillips has gone from the bins to Recycling becuase of the upset |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Give me Carl Dennel any day of the week |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | But not Jamie Holmes or Tony Martin. Quiff would dick them |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | We need the Silverback to be Welsh. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | He bangs his chest like this. He has Personality |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Whats this Ginger Tosser got. Cock !! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Paul Brown is his hero. Sums him up really |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | You fiddled the draw to get him to play Duzza and this is how he repays us |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | You were all taken in by his Spongebob Briefs |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Merthyr Shitville is welcome to him |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | At least he will get on TV - Friends with Benefits |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | He will be on longer than this Lakeside performance |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Get Fish a Vodka Lime and Lemon |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Ginger Nob |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Did you see his National Anthem performace |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I have heard hes shagging a selector |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I suppose he could blow me off |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Max Boyce, Shirley Bassey and Tom Jones wont speak to me again |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | AND Huw Ware |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Ginger Ballbag |
