00:00 - 00:03Mein Massive, a report from the front nine...
00:04 - 00:05A group calling themselves the YPI
00:05 - 00:07Has taken General Vaitesy captive
00:08 - 00:12There is a huge Scot known only as 'The Brave'
00:12 - 00:15Demanding he meets you for a doubles scratch match
00:17 - 00:19Scottish? He's SMT?
00:19 - 00:21Just send him haggis and have him hanged
00:24 - 00:26Mein Massive...
00:27 - 00:28They have been making Vaitesy...
00:31 - 00:33They've been making him play right handed
00:34 - 00:36His best hole has been a snowman
00:53 - 00:58Dunt, Jazzy, Wobbly stay. Everyone else fuck off. Immediately.
01:13 - 01:15Fucking right handed!
01:15 - 01:17He can't fucking swing left handed!
01:18 - 01:23His right hand is for his cock and for carrying my fucking bag!
01:25 - 01:28Bring that Scottish hog and his little piglet
01:29 - 01:31The one with the yips who looks like Churchill
01:31 - 01:34To Wimbledon fucking Park
01:34 - 01:37Doubles better ball. Early tee off. 6am.
01:37 - 01:40Clean my fucking clubs!
01:40 - 01:42Don't you need re-fitting Mein Massive?
01:42 - 01:46l'll fit your head on my fucking mantel piece!
01:46 - 01:48Please, I am worried about your putting
01:48 - 01:52My putting is god-like you stupid prick
01:53 - 01:54I want them fucked!
01:56 - 01:57No sausages in the hut
01:57 - 02:00A pound of charlie for the hog
02:00 - 02:03And vodka for the little fat one
02:04 - 02:08Make the greens so quick it's like
02:08 - 02:13Taking fucking Poland again!
02:14 - 02:16I'll fucking carry that weight again!
02:17 - 02:21My power is massive you little pricks!
02:27 - 02:29They are fat but their
02:30 - 02:34Skill is a little bit impressive... I accept...
02:34 - 02:36But it won't fucking end like this!
02:41 - 02:42Watching Vaitesy airmail the green
02:43 - 02:47Dropping his bombs in the fucking sea!
02:48 - 02:53Every single fucking time he's in a bunker
02:54 - 02:56Hacking away
02:56 - 02:59He makes me want to fucking shoot myself
03:00 - 03:02Slide the fucking club through the sand you prick!
03:04 - 03:07He is improving in the sand
03:14 - 03:16Tell them whoever wins...
03:19 - 03:23Gets to keep Scotland
03:25 - 03:26And can wipe their arse with it
03:31 - 03:33San Miguel Twats...
03:40 - 03:46I'll need a new partner when this goes tits up
03:46 - 03:49Ian Dunt probably
03:53 - 03:56Or fucking Wobbly