| 00:00 - 00:03 | We will import only the |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | finest sheep from Brenham. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Texags has a 55 gallon drum of lube |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | that Luicci bought with |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | all of his PPP cash. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Great. Then we are all set |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | to party our asses off at the playoff game. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein fuhrer. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | I have terrible news. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Notre Dame and Ohio State made the playoffs. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Texas A&M was left out. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everybody who had sex with Jimbo's wife, please leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Notre Dame got in? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Clemson beat the hell out of them. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | They didn't belong on the same field. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | The only reason they won the first game |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | is because Lawrence had the rona. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And it still took them overtime. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | They aren't SEC. We are SEC. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | We are the premier SEC team in Texas. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Actually, we're the only SEC team in Texas. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | We beat Florida. That has to count for something. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | We finished second in our own division. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Don't start with me about Alabama. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | One more word about Saban and |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | you're on glory hole duty at the library. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | We beat every other team |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | on the schedule even if they were all |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | under .500 except for Auburn and their fired coach. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And how the hell did Ohio State get in? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | What did they play, four games in the shitty Big 10? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | They didn't even have to play Michigan. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Not that it would have mattered anyway. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | This all ESPN's fault. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | It's a conspiracy. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | They hate us. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Herbstreit can't get Ryan Day's dick out of his mouth long enough to cry about racism. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | How the hell were we supposed to go up against that? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Fuck ESPN. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I'm calling for an aggie boycott. That will teach 'em. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I'm cancelling the cable today. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay. We can still stream it. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | This would have never happened to Texas. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | You know it. I know it. Everybody knows it. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Even when their team struggles |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | nobody cares about us poor aggies. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Those sips were probably in on this with ESPN but who cares. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | They haven't been worth a damn since Mack Brown. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | At least he isn't around to torture us any more. |
