| 00:00 - 00:03 | With the new season kicking off next week |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Mo'unga is looking good |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | But we lost Mitch Hunt |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We have Brett Cameron ready to go |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | But he will need to grow into the role |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Give DC a call |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I hear he's after a new challenge |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Bro |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | DC |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Daniel Carter just signed with the Blues |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | He's already bought villa in Remuera |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who wasn't alive when the Blues won their last title leave the room immediately |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Are you fucking kidding me?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | First a virus cancels the season |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Now another one is stealing our own legends?! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | City of Sails my ass |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | City of Fails, more like it! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Haven't won a title since Carlos had hair |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Now they're just buying one? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Like Golden State? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Bro, it's not a real season anyway |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | You think that's going to stop me from puking at Eden Park? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Bro, we're only playing them in Christchurch |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Oh geez thanks, that sounds even better |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | DC IN BLUE! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Hey I have an idea |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Lets give McCaw a call |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | And see if wants to help them find a gate |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | While we're at it, let's loan Razor to them for a season |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And see how well he breakdances holding a fucking Latte |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | They can't even make a good Latte |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | They just think they can, but they always put too much milk in it |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | So this is how Taranaki felt |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Doomed to watch our favourite son |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Tear us a new asshole |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And what the fuck |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Beauden Barrett hasn't even played a single second for them yet |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | What do they even need the greatest 10 in history for? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Bloody Auckland |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Leaving the scraps for everyone else |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | All we have left is Richie Mo'unga |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't cry, Richie is still the shit |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We need to respond with something drastic |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Sign someone really fucked up |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Like Folau |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Offer him the Crusader's social media logins |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | What the hell is going on guys? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Each catastrophe this year gets worse each time |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | 2020 sucks man |
