00:00 - 00:03Boris Johnson is about to begin his election campaign.
00:04 - 00:05He'll begin the election trail
00:05 - 00:07by visiting Addenbrooke's Hospital in Cambridge,
00:08 - 00:12Then checking up on those caught in the floods in Yorkshire
00:12 - 00:15...And he'll finish at a bakery in Glastonbury.
00:17 - 00:19He's got it in the bag.
00:19 - 00:21Corbyn doesn't stand a chance.
00:24 - 00:26Mein Führer,
00:27 - 00:28Corbyn...
00:31 - 00:33...Corbyn's just announced free fibre broadband.
00:34 - 00:36...For everyone.
00:53 - 00:58All those of you who don't have a poster of Maggie Thatcher on your wall, please leave the room.
01:13 - 01:15Now what the hell am I supposed to do?!
01:15 - 01:17All this time we've been calling him a Communist
01:18 - 01:23Despite taking £160k for a game of tennis between Johnson and Putin's minister's wife!
01:25 - 01:28We're holding the report back though.
01:29 - 01:31You'll play him soon, Margaret.
01:31 - 01:34We blamed Labour for the recession
01:34 - 01:37And used austerity as a means
01:37 - 01:40To make the poor even poorer!
01:40 - 01:42We just need to repeat that he's unelectable.
01:42 - 01:46He's championing a 4 day working week!
01:46 - 01:48Mein Führer,we know that's impossible!
01:48 - 01:52Maybe not literally
01:53 - 01:54But more leave and flexitime!
01:56 - 01:57Brexit
01:57 - 02:00We made them believe it was necessary
02:00 - 02:03And we can make a killing from it!
02:04 - 02:08We've even managed to win the vote to privatise the NHS
02:08 - 02:13Without barely raising an eyelid!
02:14 - 02:16It's within our grasp!
02:17 - 02:21We just need to get a majority in Parliament
02:27 - 02:29Even the Lib Dems are behind us
02:30 - 02:34Swinson may as well be a Tory with her voting record
02:34 - 02:36We'll settle for another coalition.
02:41 - 02:42And on top of this
02:43 - 02:47Jacob Rees-Mogg had the audacity to say
02:48 - 02:53That he could have escaped the Grenfell fire.
02:54 - 02:56Why did he have to bring that up?!
02:56 - 02:59We commissioned a report and blamed the firefighters!
03:00 - 03:02It's not much but it's the best we could do!
03:04 - 03:07Just imagine the chaos if it were Corbyn, Jenny.
03:14 - 03:16We've managed to make cuts to the police
03:19 - 03:23Education, social care
03:25 - 03:26And handed it on a plate to G4S
03:31 - 03:33The NHS was next
03:40 - 03:46And now it's all going to go down the pan
03:46 - 03:49Free fucking fibre broadband, for all.
03:53 - 03:56I bet even you'll vote for that.