| 00:00 - 00:03 | Boris Johnson is about to begin his election campaign. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | He'll begin the election trail |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | by visiting Addenbrooke's Hospital in Cambridge, |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Then checking up on those caught in the floods in Yorkshire |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | ...And he'll finish at a bakery in Glastonbury. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | He's got it in the bag. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Corbyn doesn't stand a chance. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Führer, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Corbyn... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | ...Corbyn's just announced free fibre broadband. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | ...For everyone. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | All those of you who don't have a poster of Maggie Thatcher on your wall, please leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Now what the hell am I supposed to do?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | All this time we've been calling him a Communist |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Despite taking £160k for a game of tennis between Johnson and Putin's minister's wife! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | We're holding the report back though. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | You'll play him soon, Margaret. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | We blamed Labour for the recession |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And used austerity as a means |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | To make the poor even poorer! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | We just need to repeat that he's unelectable. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | He's championing a 4 day working week! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Führer,we know that's impossible! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Maybe not literally |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | But more leave and flexitime! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Brexit |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | We made them believe it was necessary |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | And we can make a killing from it! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | We've even managed to win the vote to privatise the NHS |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Without barely raising an eyelid! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | It's within our grasp! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | We just need to get a majority in Parliament |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Even the Lib Dems are behind us |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Swinson may as well be a Tory with her voting record |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | We'll settle for another coalition. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And on top of this |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Jacob Rees-Mogg had the audacity to say |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | That he could have escaped the Grenfell fire. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Why did he have to bring that up?! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | We commissioned a report and blamed the firefighters! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | It's not much but it's the best we could do! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Just imagine the chaos if it were Corbyn, Jenny. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | We've managed to make cuts to the police |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Education, social care |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | And handed it on a plate to G4S |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The NHS was next |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | And now it's all going to go down the pan |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Free fucking fibre broadband, for all. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I bet even you'll vote for that. |
