| 00:00 - 00:02 | The Resistance has failed in all areas. |
| 00:03 - 00:05 | Mueller wrote 2 volumes of innuendo. |
| 00:05 - 00:06 | There was no collusion. |
| 00:07 - 00:11 | Even charging obstruction of justice is obviously risible. |
| 00:11 - 00:15 | Trump will serve his 4-year term after all. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Don't worry. Everything will be fine |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | when Pelosi files impeachment charges. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer ... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Pelosi |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Pelosi does not have enough votes to impeach. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Trump's impeachment will not occur. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | These people will stay here: Maddow, Acosta, Cuomo, and Morning Joe |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That was the insurance policy! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Trump's impeachment was the last option! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | So we have to endure four full years of Trump? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Orange Man Bad means nothing now. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Do they do focus groups on Twitter? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | The Deep State lied with their leaks! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | The media lied--even MSNBC! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | They might as well be Fox News! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | I cannot allow you to insult The Resistance! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Nothing but Democratic Party stenographers! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuehrer, we thought it would work. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | The talking heads peddled fantasies! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | They had no proof at all! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | They call themselves The Resistance |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | because they recycle and shop at Trader Joe's! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | They kept promising to get rid of Trump! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | They said only knuckle-dragging deplorables support him. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | The evidence was always coming, they said. I trusted that Schiff fellow! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I never went to any journalism school. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | But I could have told them that Russia didn't hack the 2016 election--or steal it. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | They're credentialed morons. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Why didn't Democrats act normal instead of turning Resistance to 11? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Did they think Americans would like it? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And now they'll get 8 years. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | With their unhinged craziness they'll get 8 years of Trump's after-midnight Tweets! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | He'll probably actually buy that icehole Greenland from Denmark! |
| 02:53 - 02:56 | The economy will keep growing! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | And Air Force One will be painted orange! |
| 02:59 - 03:02 | He'll get to appoint ALL of the Supreme Court |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry. There's always the 1619 Project |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Now Democrats have to win in 2020. |
| 03:18 - 03:23 | It's impossible with the candidates who are running. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Biden. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | He can barely speak in phrases. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | And the rest? They want to ban plastic straws, cars, and reality itself. |
| 03:46 - 03:48 | I'd rather vote for the Greens. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | At least they'll ban meat. |
