| 00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, allow me to give you the NY Mets pitching staff this season. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Big Jake is our Ace. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Then we'll attack with Thor, Wheeler, and Matz. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We'll blitzkrieg the NL East with those four. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And with our upgrades on offense, Brodie believes we'll win the division. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Who's the fifth starter? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Did we sign Gio Gonzalez or Dallas Keuchel? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | the fifth starter is... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The fifth starter is Vargas. |
| 00:33 - 00:36 | He was an all-star in 2017. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone out except Omar, Brodie, Fred, and Jeff. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Vargas as the fifth starter? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Are you out of your fucking minds? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Did you guys not see him pitch last year? He's Hansel Robles. A human white flag. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I thought you said we were serious about winning this year. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Then this shit? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | We pay nothing with Rosario at SS. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | You sell me beachfront property when I live in Kansas. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Nimmo, Conforto, the staff. They all make peanuts. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My, Fuhrer we have built a deep team- |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | A deep team has Vargas as the fifth starter? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuhrer, Brodie feels very strongly that we're threats- |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | And what happens if Jake or Thor go down? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Cheap bastards! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | We brought in Frazier last year so |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | we had an excuse to not bring in Machado. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Telling the fans Cespedes will play this year. Fucking garbage! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And now you're telling me we have to trot that piece of shit out every fifth day? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | We chase minnows instead of sharks and you mean to tell me there's nothing in the budget to upgrade from Vargas? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | You are sackless bags of shit! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | How long will we use the Madoff excuse? Stop it! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I'm getting old and tired. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | The '86 Mets hold a special place in my heart, but that was long ago. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | When will we act like a big-market team? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | The Phillies will get Machado? |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Or even Bryce Harper? The Phillies? |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | When will we start acting like a New York team and not from Tampa? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Vargas and his 5.77 ERA will really put us over the top. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Mickey, the genius, really unlocked his potential. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Motherfucker couldn't get out of the first inning! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't cry. There's always the chance he'll blow his arm out. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | No big splashes... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Won't sign Degrom to an extension |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Believing Cano will be good. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | What makes you think Cano won't be a disaster? |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Give me a reason to believe in this season... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | because I see the same shit as last year. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | We're always going to be losers. |
