| 00:00 - 00:03 | Gentlemen, tonight we're releasing CloudForms into production |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Let's review the plans again |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We'll release to this datacenter |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | and then do a rolling blackout to apply changes across the enterprise |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | by this time tomorrow, everyone will be using CloudForms. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | CloudForms is the obvious choice |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | we made the right choice choosing it. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Führer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Steiner... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Steiner told us IBM just bought Red Hat. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We cannot move forward with CloudForms. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone out except Keiter, Jyrgur, Kreips, and Butter. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I SAW THIS COMING A YEAR AGO! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | THOSE MAINFRAME CLOWNS PLANNED THIS A YEAR AGO! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | THINKING THEY CAN TAKE BACK THE DATACENTER BUYING RED HAT UNDER MY WATCH |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Everything will go back to how it was! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | 90 DAYS TO GET A VIRTUAL MACHINE! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | WEBLOGIC ADMIN NODES INSTALLED ON EVERY BOX! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I DIDN'T WORK MY ASS OFF THESE PAST FIVE YEARS |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | JUST TO SEE PATCH CYCLES REVERT TO CHAOS!! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | We've always had scheduled maintenance windows and OS patches are... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | YOUR MAINTENANCE WINDOWS WERE PICKED AT RANDOM!!! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Führer, we still own capacity planning... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Your "capacity planning" is about as useful as pedals on a wheelchair! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | WHERE IS SERVICENOW? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | We've had people working on ServiceNow |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and everyone was expecting we'd be using CloudForms |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and now you're telling me that's OFF THE TABLE! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | THIS ENTIRE PROGRAM IS RELYING ON OUR ABILITY TO COME TOGETHER |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | TO MODERNIZE AND STREAMLINE THE DATACENTER AND HERE COMES IBM AGAIN |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | WITH THEIR STUPID THINK BOOKS AND OUTDATED MAINFRAMES |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I'M SICK TO DEATH OF THE BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY IDIOTS!! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | We are going to need a new plan |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I'll provision all the damned infrastructure myself if I have to! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | At least then it'll be done right! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | This is madness. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | We were going to have CONATAINERIZED SCALABLE ENVIRONMENTS PROVISIONED IN UNDER 10 MINUTES! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | THE TYPE OF ENVIRONMENT NETFLIX WOULD BEG FOR! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Well, maybe not beg for, but you get what I mean. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | And now we'll be LUCKY to have |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | STUPID OLD WEBLOGIC SERVERS IN 90 DAYS! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, I still like WebLogic. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | There's only one thing left to do... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | It isn't something history will remember kindly, either. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | VMWare. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | VMWare orchestration. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | We'll put VMWare orchestration in between all the different solutions. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | If we can't win, nobody will. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Victory is impossible. |
