| 00:00 - 00:03 | We've assassinated DeNiro, Pacino, and Christian Bale. And their agents. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | None of these actors will be playing you, Mein Fuhrer |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Bruno Ganz is the right man. We've located his house right here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Herr Ganz likes empanadas. And we've had the taco truck send him six dozen. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Soon he will come around and star in your biopic. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Good job. He looks just like me. Better even. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | He's almost as enraged as I am. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer. |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Bruno Ganz is... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Bruno Ganz is dead. He died this morning. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | He didn't get to enjoy our empanadas. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Empanadas. Gluten-free. Better than crepes. Please leave. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Ganz is dead? For fuck's sake, he had my jawline! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | How will he know about all the new Downfall videos in the afterlife? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | So many hastily written parodies that amuse the Internet! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I was Ganz's muse, goddammit! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Now the Downfall meme is dead! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | We must dig up Ganz's corpse and bring him back to life! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | That Walking Dead shit's real, right? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Only Bruno knew how to tap the trueness of my spirit! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer, Abe Vigoda is dead. People die. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Bruno Ganz was supposed to live a thousand years! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, maybe Bradley Cooper's available. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | That smug bastard? He doesn't even speak German! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Lady Gaga had to prop him up! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | There is no one better than Bruno Ganz. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Who's the angriest actor out there who looks like me? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Rami Malek? Adam Driver? Sam Rockwell? All too young! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Fuck, we may have to settle for Zach Galifanakis. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Is there any actor out there willing to grow my creepy mustache for a few weeks? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Why are most of today's leading men so soft? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | You know who never had this problem? Stalin! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | They think angry German is something that's easy to pull off in the cinema. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | But it takes repeatedly punching yourself in the face to get it right! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Ganz was taken to the hospital at least twice for every role he played. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Who's going to suffer? |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Maybe we can get Daniel Day-Lewis. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | He turns into every man he plays, right? Will he come out of retirement? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | All those fucking comic book movies |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Don't they know that I'm the real superman? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Without Ganz, we'll get three more Aquaman movies. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay. Maybe we can find an actor at one of Trump's rallies. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | They want to make biopics about nice people. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | But evil people like me have lives too. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Now I'll never get a biopic. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Unless Liam Neeson still believes that he's not racist |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Does Tom Selleck want to kill people? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | He has a mustache, right? |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Scott Baio? |
