| 00:00 - 00:03 | The whole office asked for a snow day |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Garcia got hit with a foot of snow |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Rocco is still restricted duty, |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | and Crosas faxed another OT slip from here and here, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Porter is still somewhere in Albany. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | There's no way Porter travels that far to get laid. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | He must know women closer to home. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Lt. Rivera... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Sir.. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | There's no one in the office to write Apple subpoenas |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | and the Chief just ran out of Starbucks |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone but Konefal, Mr. Chu & Freer, leave the room |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | You gave out fucking snow days??!! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Snow days?? You fuck ing idiots? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | When I was in Highway there was no such thing! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | We wrote motherfuckers even when it snowed! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Your dad's on the job? Great. Take care, comb your hair! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | You tell these fucks to get to work! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | If the roll call says 0745, then its 0745 |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | whatever the weather! Fucking faggots! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But, sir, it's just a simple roll call adjustment. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | The roll call is like the 10 Commandments! It does not change! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Lt. Rivera, I can use my pen to change it |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Are you deaf? It does not change! Fucking morons! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I have NCMECS out the ass! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Marla is gone, |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | she was the only person with a fucking working brain in this place! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and now I'm stuck with Rocco, and Soba and A.J.! What the fuck? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I'd get more done if I hired a 3 monkeys! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Tell me about cases! Not snow days! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | 300 days on a case with no DD-5's? For fucking reals? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And you wonder why I have cameras in this place? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | YouTube & Netflix have nothing to do with cases! |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Put "Iron Man" in the queue. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Put "Man of Steel" in the queue |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Snow days. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | If I can make it here, so can you! You lazy fucks! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I never take days off! Even in the summer! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Not even an occasional random Friday. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I sit in my office and wipe your asses all day. Then I drink a seltzer! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | ...because it tastes great and has less calories than regular soda. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's true. He never drinks regular soda. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | This office can blow me. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I might as well drink a 2 litre Pepsi. |
| 03:25 - 03:28 | Take care-Comb your hair. |
| 03:31 - 03:38 | Give them the day off. You useless cocksuckers. |
| 03:40 - 03:53 | If TACO was here, at least I could blame him for everything! I'd blame that guy if I had a bacon strip in my undies. |
| 03:46 - 03:41 | Fuck it. Blame him anyway. |
| 03:53 - 03:57 | I give up. Turn on Netflix. |
