Coach Harbaugh, we have come up with a plan to finally beat Ohio State.
It involved a lot of secret planning,
but we think it is fool proof.
We will start by making sure our defense
does not give up over 60 points yet again.
I'm assuming Coach Mattison
has given his input?
Has left the team.
And is now Defensive Coordinator at OSU.
Everybody who thinks we will lose to OSU next year, please leave the room.
How the hell did we lose Mattison?!?!
He's 70 years old for Crisler's sakes!
Is this what I deserve for taking the team on a European vacation instead of actually practicing football?
Is it because Winovich gets hairstyle tips from our secretaries?
I told them to stop blow drying it for him!
But you guys all encouraged him,
and allowed him to start a stupid "Revenge Tour"
like he is in a boy band!
Coach Harbaugh, the Revenge Tour was successful until...
Until OSU almost scored 70 points on us. Thank Bo they took a knee at the five yard line.
Coach Harbaugh, Dwayne Haskins was very accurate that game.
That's because that idiot Don Brown was blitzing every play and leaving our cornerbacks on islands.
You would think just once, we would play zone and try to slow them down.
But no, it was blitz blitz blitz, until our guys were winded.
Then Parris Campbell torches us on a two foot pass
Running by our whole team while Rashan Gary was busy looking at a pizza in the crowd.
And don't get me started about Special Teams.
We gave up a punt block to a true freshman, while another freshman returned it for a touchdown.
Then we turned the ball over
Allowing even more Buckeyes to score on us like we were Rutgers.
I know we are not Rutgers.
We are Michigan Men.
WIth a great history of winning games in the late 1800's.
in order to win the big game.
I'm done being embarrassed.
I'm thinking it was a bad idea to wear a uniform sponsored by a basketball player.
Especially one who didn't even go to Michigan.
We've let OSU have their way with us for too long.
Even their cheerleaders are prettier than ours.
It's OK. You tried your hardest.
I'm thinking we can make one significant change.
We need to promote our best up and coming coach.
Someone who is a strong recruiter.
I think it should be Al Washington.
With Washington leading our defense,
We will recruit well,
and finally have our players motivated,