00:00 - 00:03Coach Harbaugh, we have come up with a plan to finally beat Ohio State.
00:04 - 00:05It involved a lot of secret planning,
00:05 - 00:07but we think it is fool proof.
00:08 - 00:12We will start by making sure our defense
00:12 - 00:15does not give up over 60 points yet again.
00:17 - 00:19I'm assuming Coach Mattison
00:19 - 00:21has given his input?
00:24 - 00:26Coach Harbaugh...
00:27 - 00:28Coach Mattison...
00:31 - 00:33Has left the team.
00:34 - 00:36And is now Defensive Coordinator at OSU.
00:53 - 00:58Everybody who thinks we will lose to OSU next year, please leave the room.
01:13 - 01:15How the hell did we lose Mattison?!?!
01:15 - 01:17He's 70 years old for Crisler's sakes!
01:18 - 01:23Is this what I deserve for taking the team on a European vacation instead of actually practicing football?
01:25 - 01:28Is it because Winovich gets hairstyle tips from our secretaries?
01:29 - 01:31I told them to stop blow drying it for him!
01:31 - 01:34But you guys all encouraged him,
01:34 - 01:37and allowed him to start a stupid "Revenge Tour"
01:37 - 01:40like he is in a boy band!
01:40 - 01:42Coach Harbaugh, the Revenge Tour was successful until...
01:42 - 01:46Until OSU almost scored 70 points on us. Thank Bo they took a knee at the five yard line.
01:46 - 01:48Coach Harbaugh, Dwayne Haskins was very accurate that game.
01:48 - 01:52That's because that idiot Don Brown was blitzing every play and leaving our cornerbacks on islands.
01:53 - 01:54You would think just once, we would play zone and try to slow them down.
01:56 - 01:57But no, it was blitz blitz blitz, until our guys were winded.
01:57 - 02:00Then Parris Campbell torches us on a two foot pass
02:00 - 02:03Running by our whole team while Rashan Gary was busy looking at a pizza in the crowd.
02:04 - 02:08And don't get me started about Special Teams.
02:08 - 02:13We gave up a punt block to a true freshman, while another freshman returned it for a touchdown.
02:14 - 02:16Then we turned the ball over
02:17 - 02:21Allowing even more Buckeyes to score on us like we were Rutgers.
02:27 - 02:29I know we are not Rutgers.
02:30 - 02:34We are Michigan Men.
02:34 - 02:36WIth a great history of winning games in the late 1800's.
02:41 - 02:42in order to win the big game.
02:43 - 02:47I'm done being embarrassed.
02:48 - 02:53I'm thinking it was a bad idea to wear a uniform sponsored by a basketball player.
02:54 - 02:56Especially one who didn't even go to Michigan.
02:56 - 02:59 We've let OSU have their way with us for too long.
03:00 - 03:02Even their cheerleaders are prettier than ours.
03:04 - 03:07It's OK. You tried your hardest.
03:14 - 03:16I'm thinking we can make one significant change.
03:19 - 03:23We need to promote our best up and coming coach.
03:25 - 03:26Someone who is a strong recruiter.
03:31 - 03:33I think it should be Al Washington.
03:40 - 03:46With Washington leading our defense,
03:46 - 03:49We will recruit well,
03:53 - 03:56and finally have our players motivated,