00:00 - 00:03So Team Sky be sitting in yellow by Stage 18
00:04 - 00:05with just the hilly ITT
00:05 - 00:07to secure victory
00:08 - 00:12Wiping away the stench of WADA
00:12 - 00:15Smashing all those bastards on Twitter
00:17 - 00:19Yes that will prove me GOAT
00:19 - 00:21Stick their huge inhalers up their bastard arses
00:24 - 00:26Herr Froome, Sir Dave
00:27 - 00:28Sir Dave thinks that
00:31 - 00:33It may be time for another rider to win the TDF
00:34 - 00:36We don't want it to look obvious...
00:53 - 00:58Anyone who hasn't pissed in a bottle leave the room now
01:13 - 01:15Someone else to win a Grand Tour?
01:15 - 01:17Who the fuck is going to do that aside from me?
01:18 - 01:23It's that welsh fucker G isn't it? The back stabbing fucker should stick to sheep
01:25 - 01:28The things I went through to bring supremacy to Sky.
01:29 - 01:31not just Brian Cookson
01:31 - 01:34Do you think it was easy riding up Ventoux
01:34 - 01:37Looking like a fucking moron waving my elbows in the wind?
01:37 - 01:40falling off like a stunt monkey just to get a fresh motor
01:40 - 01:42But the batteries don't last for a stage
01:42 - 01:46And then there is the Salbutomol you make me take
01:46 - 01:48Your Highness, that was sir Brad's idea
01:48 - 01:52Fuck Sir Brad. It gives me the shits, 2 kg a stage
01:53 - 01:54My ring piece is in tatters
01:56 - 01:57You think I did all this for fun?
01:57 - 02:00To be passed over for a Welshman?
02:00 - 02:03I've not even won Sports Personality of the year yet
02:04 - 02:08You think I like being beaten by Andy Murray?
02:08 - 02:13He has the personality of a ferret's testes and looks as happy as Trump's fluffer.
02:14 - 02:16You bunch of cowardly weasels
02:17 - 02:21Well you've done it this time, after I've finished you'll only be good for Astana
02:27 - 02:29Go on then, Why this? Why now? Why G?
02:30 - 02:34What has he got? Is it Carlton behind this?
02:34 - 02:36He's always "G This and G that"
02:41 - 02:42He can't even say his name
02:43 - 02:47Mine is easy to pronounce and I have a foreign Je ne c'est pas too
02:48 - 02:53I'm from Kenya, we have proper mountains not like fucking Snowdon
02:54 - 02:56Oh that doesn't count because Wales has Tom Jones
02:56 - 02:59And he was mates with Elvis fucking Presley
03:00 - 03:02Just like Lance fucking Armstrong probably
03:04 - 03:07Oh I get it, this is all about David Walsh
03:14 - 03:16Well you can have your Welsh victory
03:19 - 03:23I hate getting covered in piss and that bloke with the devil costume
03:25 - 03:26fuck it
03:31 - 03:33I'll write my memoirs just like Freeman
03:40 - 03:46It was fun while it lasted, remember me ragging it up behind Sir Wiggo?
03:46 - 03:49What was with those sideburns ?
03:53 - 03:56You didn't need a knighthood anyway