Coffeegate

11,320 views • 11/20/2015

Description

The Fuhrer receives bad news about officers' coffee...

Captions

00:00 - 00:03We have the Brigadier coming on Thursday...
00:04 - 00:05...and then the Unit Health Committee meeting on Friday,
00:05 - 00:07...before the dining in of 2Lt Webber later in the evening.
00:08 - 00:12He has just arrived fresh from Sandhurst..
00:12 - 00:15...and according to his letter, he holds a Lev3 BTEC in hot beverages.
00:17 - 00:19So he made the coffee this morning,
00:19 - 00:21...and laid out the wafers in that little pattern that I like.
00:24 - 00:26Capt C...
00:27 - 00:28...Webber...
00:31 - 00:33Webber put a packet of plain digestives out for the GOC...
00:34 - 00:36...and the subbies drank all the coffee.
00:53 - 00:58Anyone who doesn't mind plain digestives, Nescafe instant or custard creams, leave now...
01:13 - 01:15HOLY POOEY BALLS!
01:15 - 01:17TURDY WONKY SODDING BALLS!
01:18 - 01:23You know the CO demands a second fresh pot of coffee...
01:25 - 01:28But only for her and people who affect her OJAR
01:29 - 01:31I drew up a sodding rota to ensure this wouldn't happen!
01:31 - 01:34I even drew DIAGRAMS of how to lay out the wafers!
01:34 - 01:37This is the kind of shit they should be teaching at RMAS!
01:37 - 01:40NOT section attacks and the combat estimate!
01:40 - 01:42Capt C, they are useful building blocks to apply many principles to...
01:42 - 01:46THINKING LIKE THAT IS HOW MEN DIE ON OPERATIONS!
01:46 - 01:48Capt C, I think you are overreacting...
01:48 - 01:52If I were overreacting, would I throw my pens at this map?
01:53 - 01:54How am I supposed to beige off the back of this...
01:56 - 01:57General Dannett once commented on my...
01:57 - 02:00...giant jammy dodgers and my chocolate bourbon.
02:00 - 02:03...and now that's all been for nothing.
02:04 - 02:08If Capita hadn't been doing the recruiting...
02:08 - 02:13...perhaps we'd have enough soldiers to dick one of them to make the titting brews!
02:14 - 02:16Instead I have to rely on winnet crowbags!
02:17 - 02:21Most of them think that it is acceptable to drink tea without a saucer!
02:27 - 02:29My career is over.
02:30 - 02:34I bet you 20 quid I end up as a Hitler video before the weekend.
02:34 - 02:36Or a fucking meme with Captain Picard
02:41 - 02:42Fetch the jobs list.
02:43 - 02:47I'm sure there must be a higher HQ somewhere that is lacking in hot drink facilities.
02:48 - 02:53I can buy one of those machines with the pods.
02:54 - 02:56Or maybe that coffee made from cat poop.
02:56 - 02:59Whatever it is, I need to seriously impress the Brigadier
03:00 - 03:02Get me the little shit that is on duty.
03:04 - 03:07Don't worry, Webber is on until Feb 2020
03:14 - 03:16Maybe it's not that bad.
03:19 - 03:23I have an emergency packet of Ferro Rocher hidden in my desk...
03:25 - 03:26...I think
03:31 - 03:33Someone go to my desk now.
03:40 - 03:46I can come back from this as long as we can sort it out before it goes public.
03:46 - 03:49Stop all e-mails to external addresses.
03:53 - 03:56Get me a Boost...