| 00:00 - 00:03 | We have the Brigadier coming on Thursday... |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | ...and then the Unit Health Committee meeting on Friday, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | ...before the dining in of 2Lt Webber later in the evening. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | He has just arrived fresh from Sandhurst.. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | ...and according to his letter, he holds a Lev3 BTEC in hot beverages. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | So he made the coffee this morning, |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | ...and laid out the wafers in that little pattern that I like. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Capt C... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ...Webber... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Webber put a packet of plain digestives out for the GOC... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | ...and the subbies drank all the coffee. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who doesn't mind plain digestives, Nescafe instant or custard creams, leave now... |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | HOLY POOEY BALLS! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | TURDY WONKY SODDING BALLS! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | You know the CO demands a second fresh pot of coffee... |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | But only for her and people who affect her OJAR |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I drew up a sodding rota to ensure this wouldn't happen! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I even drew DIAGRAMS of how to lay out the wafers! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | This is the kind of shit they should be teaching at RMAS! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | NOT section attacks and the combat estimate! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Capt C, they are useful building blocks to apply many principles to... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | THINKING LIKE THAT IS HOW MEN DIE ON OPERATIONS! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Capt C, I think you are overreacting... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | If I were overreacting, would I throw my pens at this map? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | How am I supposed to beige off the back of this... |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | General Dannett once commented on my... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | ...giant jammy dodgers and my chocolate bourbon. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | ...and now that's all been for nothing. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | If Capita hadn't been doing the recruiting... |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | ...perhaps we'd have enough soldiers to dick one of them to make the titting brews! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Instead I have to rely on winnet crowbags! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Most of them think that it is acceptable to drink tea without a saucer! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | My career is over. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I bet you 20 quid I end up as a Hitler video before the weekend. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Or a fucking meme with Captain Picard |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Fetch the jobs list. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I'm sure there must be a higher HQ somewhere that is lacking in hot drink facilities. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I can buy one of those machines with the pods. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Or maybe that coffee made from cat poop. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Whatever it is, I need to seriously impress the Brigadier |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Get me the little shit that is on duty. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, Webber is on until Feb 2020 |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Maybe it's not that bad. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I have an emergency packet of Ferro Rocher hidden in my desk... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | ...I think |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Someone go to my desk now. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I can come back from this as long as we can sort it out before it goes public. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Stop all e-mails to external addresses. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Get me a Boost... |
