Jacob's War Council
11 views1/11/2026
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | Archaon and Be'lakor have just retreated to Fort Ostrosk |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | They are avoiding battle like pussies |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | while we gather more forces to defend the motherland |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Drycha and her spooky trees are closeby to reinforce us against Chaos incursions, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | But forest of Athel Loren is under attack and trees are being turned into dildos by The Masque |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Its okay Eltharion and his forces will turn things around |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | We'll reclaim the forest, together with Durthu's |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Tzarina... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Eltharion... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Eltharion is still in the badlands, fighting gobbos and jerking off |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Also Durthu has just been turned into toilet paper |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Those who prefer Math's long campaigns and think my rules suck ass, fuck off |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Da fuck you mean he is still in the badlands?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Chaos is anal fucking us and he is getting a tan?! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I should've allied with those dung eatting gobbo rather than the knife-earred batman wannabe fuckwit |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | that cocksucking twink piece of shit |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | should have known not to ally with elves |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | even that fucking christmas tree Durthu! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | fucking splitting his forces like Morathi's legs |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and bending over to get fucked in his pit of shades |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Tzarina i can't allow you to disrespect our allies |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Even Sigvald's mama got less fucked than my "allies" |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Tzarina this is outrageous! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | They couldn't even defend their own fucking forest |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Useless shits! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | They made me believe that |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | they could atleast hold the west flank |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | while Eltharion quickly marched north to reinforce |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | but instead one of them is getting turned into wooden anal plugs |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | while the other is busy being even less relevant than fucking Helman Ghorst |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | What did i do to deserve such sheer incompetence? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | i'd rather endure getting fucked by Math and his overtuned Dwarfs than play this shit of a game |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I was holding my ground against 2 players alone |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | The guy they underestimated the most! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I defended the fucking motherland! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | What a shitshow |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And here i thought i would have gotten steamrolled first |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Yet i didnt even get to fight a single fucking battle |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | my Streltsy's would have crushed them |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | their puny monkeys would have turned into spongebobs |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I didn't even need Drycha for that |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry.. next game we'll play with Math's rules :) |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | How can i carry the war under these conditions? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Atleast i hope i get to fight a battle before my allies capitulate |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Unlikely tho |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The campaign is already over |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But i am not gona concede until i get to whoop those two northern monkeys arses first |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Even if its the last thing i will do |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Next game will have better rules hopefully |