| 00:00 - 00:03 | German is in danger of dying out |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | But why? |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Hostile languages... |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | ...are attacking us from the south. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We need to defend our mother tongue |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | I saw a helicopter... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | ...bringing foreign music |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | That's true... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ...boss |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | It was those Colombians |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | with their vallenato |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | If Carlos bloody Vives comes to Berlin, |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | We'll take his instrument... |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | ...and feed it to our pigs. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | And if that doesn't make him think twice, |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | We'll cut his tongue off. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | That'll teach him... |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | ...that vallenato is a crime. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | What else can we do... |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | to prevent this Caribbean invasion? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But boss, Colombian music is... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | It's threatening our beautiful German tongue! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Our kids want to learn Spanish |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | That linguistic diversity will destroy Germany! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It must be stopped! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Our kids need to... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | ...sing uplifting German songs, |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | learn inspiring German poems, |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | and sing the German national anthem 5 times a day! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And if Carlos bloody Vives wants to play his accordion in our stadiums, |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | He can play the German anthem, too |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And Juanes and Shakira can dance beside him! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | We need everyone to... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | read in German, write in German |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | and make German Tik Tok videos |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | We should never... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | ...accept other languages that destroy our one |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | It's essential to fight back against vallenato from Colombia, |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | ...Puerto Rican reggaeton, |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | ...and pop stars from California and Florida |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | ...who are undermining our culture |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry. We'll still sing Despacito |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | What's our plan of action? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | How can we preserve our language in a globalised world? |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Tell me, Mikel. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | You must have an idea. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Because we found a copy of 100 Years of Solitude... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | ...under you pillow last night. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | You broke my heart, Mikel. |
