| 00:00 - 00:03 | Mr. Trump, let's talk about your campaign |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | and your ratings on TV. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Your cultists are still loyal. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | And it appears we're gaining ground |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | with people who hate their grocery bills. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | What about Biden? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | How is he doing? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The thing is... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Joe Biden dropped out of the race. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Kamala Harris is now their nominee. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | All of my high-level bootlickers stay. Everyone else out. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT THE FUCK!? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | How did this happen?! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | We were supposed to kill Sleepy Joe in November! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | We spent so much money |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | attacking his age! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Now he's not running? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | How can I attack Kamala? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I'll just look like a racist asshole! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | You can go after her career. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | She was a fucking prosecutor! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | How about birtherism again? |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | That shit made me look stupid and weak! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It won't work on her! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | She was born in California |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | so she's completely legit! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | She's locked up hardened criminals. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Voters eat that shit up! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And I'm stuck with JD Vance as my VP? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | He wears eyeshadow! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And people think he fucked a couch! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | This is so completely unfair! |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I am a winner! Not a loser! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I always get what I want! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I want to be president! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And you fucking clowns are ruining my chances! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | You people suck so hard! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I mean, you really, really do. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Now we're going to lose so badly |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Melania will divorce me! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Sweetie, it's the right thing to do. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | You're all a disgrace. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | A pathetic, groveling, weak disgrace. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I wanted to win. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Now I'm going to lose. Again. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I hope all of you are happy. You ruined me. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I'll look weak and stupid, like all of you. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I need a hooker and crushed Sudafed. |
