| 00:00 - 00:05 | Swedbank's whole management team was ushered into the CEO's office. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Look, we need to increase earnings. |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | We sell exactly the same products as our competitors. |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | The only way to capture business is through client relations. |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | I have an idea of how we can improve our client relationships. |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | When we go out to dinner with out clients |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | We should only be able to buy them two beers. TWO. MAX |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | No cocktails. No cognac. No schnapps. Two beers! |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | When we take them to a Christmas buffet |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | They are served glögg at the reception before we are shown to the table |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | And then, we order a beer each for the herring |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | When they have finished the herring and move on to the cold cuts |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | They are feeling more thirsty |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | But we can only offer them a soda |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | Because they already had a glögg and a beer! |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | And they can't get a schnapps with their food. |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | Fanta for dinner. To adult business people! |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | And this will improve our client relationship |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | All according to the combined brainpower at the top of the bank |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | There probably was some McKinsey consultant for 10k an hour as well |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | And this! |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | This is what they came up with to improve our client relationships |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | Just imagine a regular dinner in a nice restaurant |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | Would you like a drink before dinner - NO, not allowed! |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | A glas of bubbly then while we look through the menu |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | And then, when the first course is served |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | And a glass of wine is served with it |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | You have to tell the client |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | That his glass of wine must last for the rest of the evening |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | The whole evening! |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | It's 19 o clock! |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | all night |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | but there is always Fanta |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | if he wants something nice for his main course |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | This new policy is someone's brainchild, and it has then been discussed among several top managers |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | all in order |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | to improve our client relationships |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | It has been vetted by HR and then |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | then communicated down the management lines |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | And every middle manager has gaped |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | at the complete and utter lack of understanding |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | of how business relations are built |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | The top management must think our clients are children or tee-totallers |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | Oh, it's incredible |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | To think that this will improve anything |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | SEB and Danske must laugh their asses off |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | But what can we do? It's above our pay grade to understand. |
