| 00:00 - 00:03 | Dear PO. Here's the required discovery team to work with the client |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The client |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | would like to use |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | our data in this area |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We suggested this add-on |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | So we're talking two Use Cases? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | For this to be in order? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Maybe four, sir. They'd also |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | like to store |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | the data on their end |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | to distribute internally |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Sales, Pre-Sales, and ICs, please stay. The rest can leave |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Are you insane! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Store the data? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | They'll steal it from us! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | It's our data, damnit! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Discovery was fine, don't worry |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I never want to hear |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | about a "Client" |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | making such demands |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But our business is to sell data |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | "Data?" It's my product! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Do you have any idea |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | what could happen if clients use it? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | There will be support |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Complaints, complaints |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I'll teach those "Clients" |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Set the price to USD 1000k a month |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | That will teach them |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And I never want to hear the word "store" again, do you understand? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | We will stop them, set up a new sales process! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I will make CPQ spit out new, random numbers each time |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Discovery will be 10 pages long |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Move the contracting team to North America |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Implement Salesforce! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Introduce Seismic! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Auditing will be in India! And UK! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I have never been so insulted in my whole life |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | My roadmap will be messed up |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I have KPIs and OKRs to deliver on |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | You salespeople don't understand |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, it's just quarter-end stress |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | All I ever wanted |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Was to build a product I liked |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | without being interrupted |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | or disturbed by clients or sales reps |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Is that too much to ask? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Is it really? |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Tell the client we can deliver in 2026 |
