Elon learns about the Google Cloud bill
91 views7/2/2023
Elon is not happy to learn that running a software company is hard work.
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | My Fuhrer, We can't pay the Google Cloud Bill for Twitter |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Google will throttling services shortly |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | It will start affecting users from Alaska to Berlin in 2 hours |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We asked David Sacks and Mario to host a Spaces to remind everyone of your Genius |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We have secondary dick riders like Dom Lucre and Ian Cumchung to help cope through this situation |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | It's okay, we will move services to on-premises |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Any temporary service interruption, we will blame on woke mind virus and CIA |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Downdete........ |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Users are already getting rate limited, Downdetector for Twitter spiked over 10,000 reports |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | People are already moving back to MySpace and ICQ |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who hasn't paid for Blue, get out of the room right now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | 44 Billion Dollars and my fucking platform is less capable than MSN Messenger |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | A random Nigerian High School Student can develop a more useful Social Media Website |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Why the fuck did I buy this POS website? Twitter is free and Sacks told me 44B was a bargain! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Even PelmeniPussy can code a better app than Twitter |
| 01:30 - 01:31 | It's okay Pelmeni, you dont have to learn to code |
| 01:32 - 01:34 | First Grimes left me, then my daughter disowned me, now this fucking platform lacks is dogshit |
| 01:35 - 01:37 | All of you are fucking useless, I was high when I joked about buying this fucking app |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | you could have prevented me from buying this app, you should have sent me for nappy time and handjob |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Fuhrer, you said you wanted to own the libs no matter the cost |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | We can't own them retard, our own chucklefucks keep dying from COVID, how is that owning anyone? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuhrer, you can do a show with Jordan Peterson where he calls you a Genius |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | fuckhead thinks fetish cockmilking videos are CCP Propaganda, how is he going to help my image? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | He fucking cries over Kermit the Frog and Pinocchio |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | He makes The Young Turks look like modern day Intellectuals |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I just wanted people to worship me and think i was a smart software bro |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Now I look worse than Russia after Putin shit his pants |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | How the fuck do I come back from this reputational damage? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | First my cars explode, then my rockets explode, now this? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I miss the days when people thought I was a genius and didn't realize I was a fucking fraud! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Now, you can't even scroll your home feed for hours before we send your account to Gulag like Stalin |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I am sorry, another child just disowned me and i sad |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | They used to see me as a Titan of Industry, then I got booed off the stage on Chapelle's show |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | They were supposed to cheer me and make me feel good like all other White South Africans |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Fuck, we will have to say something to the users |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Make it look like we were planning this, maybe spin it to entice more people to buy Blue |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Maybe I can salvage a shred of reputation and I can convince Grimes to see my penis again by 2025 |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I wish we could manipulate the stats on Twitter like we do with Tesla |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | But no, everyone needs to research Twitter's business contracts and make me look like a fool |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Why are Billionaires treated so badly? We are the new Jews I tell you! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't cry Anna, I won't tell him you're Jewish |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Call Mark Zuckerberg, tell him we will fight for ownership of Twitter |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I will throw the fight, blame it on bad knees and tummy ache, my simps will defend me |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | At least Twitter will be in good hands |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | It was a trick, I can't code, I'm an idiot |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I will Tweet about rate limits for posts, all the bots will like it and my simps will defend me |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | When I said Comedy was Legal on Twitter, I didn't mean I was the joke! |
| 03:53 - 03:58 | One day I will be living alone on Mars and hopefully no one remembers this day |