| 00:00 - 00:03 | Revenues aren't what we've been looking for. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | To makes net sales to look good for the IPO, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | we've been considering additional profit centers. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Ad revenues have been flat, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and our recent hiring spree has left us with a lot of overhead. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | We can just cut about 5% of the workforce. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Bring our costs in line with what Wall Street wants to see. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | We have... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We have no ad revenue coming in from the third party apps. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They block our ads to maximize time users can spend looking at porn. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | The following stay here: Those in charge of the API, Cat Memes, and the Sales Team. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How can we go public without selling ads. |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Revenue per user is the only thing Wall Street gives a shit about. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | You have these users with their Narwhal and their Apollo |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Suckling off our teat, but not serving our ads for SalesForce, |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | How are we supposed to keep the lights on |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Just giving away our content ad free and not charging to use our API |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | We must be the biggest suckers in the world |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | just letting them take whatever they want for nothing. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir the content on Reddit is all user generated, and these apps drive positive user engagement. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Do you think I give a shit, when we go public all anyone will care about is profit. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | How can you talk about the users like that, they've been loyal since being exiled from Digg. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I shit on your "loyal users". I've got corporate parents to keep happy. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | They don't want to hear your excuses. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | They just want to show some revenue growth. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Whatever it takes, I don't give a shit. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Maybe we make API calls absurdly expensive. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | One way or another we'll make money, either from serving ads, |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Or from one of those third party developers that are actually dumb enough to pay |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | our outrageous API prices. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | They did it at Twitter, there's no reason we can't do it too. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | What did I do to deserve this. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | We've provided hours of mindless entertainment for our users. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | But we don't make big money like Facebook. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Maybe we need to find ways |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | to sell our user's data to the hightest bidder, and finally make a fucking buck like everyone else. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | We tried to play nice, giving users what they want, |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | following the dreams of the original founders. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | But where has it gotten us except 40% down from our $10 Billion peak valuation, |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Spun off from some second rate Walmart checkout line magazine publisher. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, I'm sure he didn't mean that about "Elle". |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Where do we go from here. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | 500 million active users and nothing to show for it. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It's over. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | After the June 12th boycott, we'll be the next Digg. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But if you think we'll give into the demands of the publishers over our API prices, youre wrong. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I'd rather set this thing up in flames and ride it burning all the way down to the ground like Elon. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Now get ready for the AMA, Matthew McConaughey has a new movie he's promoting. |
