| 00:00 - 00:03 | I'd like to announce we have reached a strategic breakthrough |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The board of directors from the FAC and AMC |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Have worked through logistics and horse trading |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We have found common ground against all odds |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And a central meeting point exists on Concord Ave in Belmont |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | And both churches will remain intact |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Two churches, co-existing. No changes. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Pastor |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The two churches |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Will immediately be merged into a single church |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | And consolidated into the FAC in Belmont |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Unless your name is Nigoghosian, Chekidjian, or Haleblian, leave immediately |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | They don't have a Dunkin' within walking distance! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | And Belmont is historically a dry town! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | A forced march from Watertown to Belmont is inhumane! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | They don't even have logical parking |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And their food is beyond sub-par! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | They know they got the better end of this deal! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Their snow removal services are inadequate |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | And their kitchen is a joke and beyond repair! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Pastor, I assure you the chorag recipe has dramatically improved |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | They still use Wesson vegetable oil in the recipe. We use Crisco! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Pastor, but I know they are willing to use Crisco if we insist. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | The deal has already been negotiated. Wesson it is! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | 60 extra calories! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You can kiss goodbye to poker night and sojouk-fest 2024! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | And we'll be the butt-end of every joke until the entire board turns over! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | They have the pole position on every huntess for the next 20 years! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Every bit of leverage we thought we had in our back pocket |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Has been pissed away in the most amateur of ways! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And the Greek church will never stop laughing at me |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | 75 years of posturing in this negotiation -- just vanished! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I had just placed an order for a brand new whole lamb cooker |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | We are lamb eaters. To. The. Core. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | While those heathens in Belmont barely eat meat |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Say goodbye to fresh lamb |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And now I'll need to trek to Worcester for lunch. Every single Sunday! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And the AEUNA will just sit there and do nothing while we suffer |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | The FAC probably stuffed the Union board with friendlies |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | And I took the high road and played along nicely |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Like a donkey without an ounce of vision! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry. They have an onsite house for the pastor. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Well their sanctuary *is* actually bigger |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | And their sound acoustics are actually pretty good too. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Well, sometimes. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Maybe I can join the choir as a tenor. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | They do a wicked version of "In My Heart There Rings a Melody" |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | But only when that Baboian is directing the music |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Announce the deal and let's go to lunch. |
