| 00:00 - 00:03 | The medicine and ED teams are dropping like flies. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Med students graduated early |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | to help with the COVID patients |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Urology and ENT are already on the wards. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Even plastics is helping out the ICU. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Ortho is protected. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | We still have trauma cases to cover. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Program director... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Ortho... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Ortho is being pulled to the floors... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | to the ED and the ICU. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | PAs, NPs, and medical students need to leave |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fuck is this shit?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | This is complete bullshit! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I did not score a 260 on my step 1 |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | and suffer through 4 away rotations |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | to treat pneumonia! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I am a highly trained SURGEON |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | who specializes in arthroscopy, tendon transfers, |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | joint replacements, and spinal fusions! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, they will use us on proning teams first. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I don't care about proning teams! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | They need us. We are the strongest specialty. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I don't bench over 250 so I can prone patients. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I do it to fix bones! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Stop acting like such a pansy. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I bet you skip leg day and wear lifting gloves. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | You belong with the other medicine nerds. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I hope you enjoy percussing people's bellies |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | and pretending like it's actually useful... |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | and doing rectal exams on C. Diff patients... |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Rounding for 4 hours a day and jerking off to Frank-Starling curves. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | The trachea and lungs are flimsy. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I like things with substance and strength. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Like bones and metal! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | All those hours wasted... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | reading Rockwood and Green's and Hoppenfeld. |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Reducing distal radius fractures to near anatomic position |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Now we're being downgraded |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | to managing diabetes, CHF, and COPD. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Our muscles will atrophy! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay. We still have protein shakes. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I guess I'll go get my reflex hammer. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Or that dangly thing they call a "stethoscope". |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | We're fucked. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | We will go to the floors... |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | We learned medicine once, and we knew it better than these people. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Shove that 'dumb jock' stereotype up their asses. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Bros, dismissed. |
