| 00:00 - 00:03 | .....with shortages now being predicted |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | at supermarkets to the south |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and west of here. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We cant be sure of stocks in Pankour |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | due to panic buying by idiots. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | It will be fine |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | We can always get toilet rolls from Aldi |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | .....Aldi.. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Aldi was cleared by panic buying yesterday |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | There are no loo rolls left. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Leave the room if you have not recently had SARS, MERS, Manflu or a cold |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Are you frikken kidding me? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | They are sold out of bog roll? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | How did you morons let that happen? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Your ability to shop is woeful |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | You could have just taken it |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | You are an officer in the SS |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Yet you cant even get me paper for the toilet |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Fuck me, how do I have a shit now? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | We can always use a copy of the Sun newspaper |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | The Sun?? it will just smear shit up my back! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, i've been using it for ages |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Did you even check Rewe or Lidl?? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | We cant run out... |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I need the soft and long |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Impregnated with Aloe Vera |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | for a superior wipe |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | The sun is just one step away from |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Military ration pack bog paper |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | that dissolves on use |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | leaving you with a total stink finger... |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | It is a good thing that Covid-19 |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Doesn't cause the shits if it is contracted. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | But right now i need a poo and... |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | need to lay a firemans blanket |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | to stop a splashback the size of a tsunami |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | and prevent pisswater from covering my arse. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | But you cockwombles couldn't even |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | procure Andrex or Quilton or Tesco Value rolls. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Now we will all suffer from stinkfinger. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Its Ok, I knicked a roll from the Officers Mess. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I suppose it could be worse |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | We still have the hand sanitiser for |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | after we use the loo |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | We should buy some now |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Otherwise we will need to use soap |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and water to wash our hands. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Fucking panic buying knobjockeys. |
