| 00:00 - 00:03 | Clemence. I am afraid we have bad news for you |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The NGen go live has not worked |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | The quay has ground to a halt |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We have lost thousands of containers and hauliers are queuing up at dock gate one |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Preventing Port staff from getting to McDonalds for lunch |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | But we did 7 vessel tests |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | How bad is it? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Clemence |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Productivity |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Productivity is so low we look like an African terminal |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | One using a T-card system |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who thought NGen was a bad idea can leave now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I cant believe this has failed |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | 5 bloody years and it has failed |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | We hadnt a giant cake. We had a big go live party |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Chinese knock off system |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | NGen was the future |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Forget CHARTS & SPARCS |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | This was gonna shove London Gateways weather-proof cranes |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Right up their arse |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Clemence, i said this was an import terminal |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | IT WORKS IN 25 OTHER HUTCHISON PORTS |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Felixstowe is special |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Special! My left testicle, its special! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Imbeciles |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I said install the system |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Do it cheap and with no extra labour |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | And make it seamless |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | How will I get my knighthood now? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I was going to be the greatest CEO in the world |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And now people wont know whether to laugh or shout at me! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | We will be giving London Gateway all the help they need |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Southampton will be full |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Ships will even go to Liverpool! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | F*@king Liverpool! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | English fools |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Must I call on the IT team from Hong Kong to put this right? |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Why cant the workforce simply follow their screens? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Why did no one stop this? |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Why didnt no one tell me there was a problem? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I would have listened |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Its ok, I think he will roll back |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Prepare a press release |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Say 24-36 hours all will be fine |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Business as normal |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | What they want to hear |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Have our cleverest person find stats that show we are doing ok |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | And send them to every journalist in the land |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | NGen - its the future! |
