We're almost ready for the Glorious 12th
the moors burned
installed grouse butts here
and gas guns here
We've even laid access matting
At least nothing can go wrong this year
None of that Petition malarky
Mein Fuhrer
it's........
... Mark Avery, Petition Banning Driven Grouse shooting again
Fourty thousand have already signed
If anyone in here has signed it, get out.
WHAT IS IT WITH THAT DAMN MAN!
AND THAT STUPID HARRY HARRIER!
I've just filled the grouse with anti-biotics
The moor is clear of predators
It was almost perfect!
What will I tell Marks and Spencer?
I need someone to help me out!
Where's Bonner and Botham when you need them?
Mein Fuhrer, they lack any scientific credibility
What about all the twitter trolls?
Mein Fuhrer, they're just morons
So basically I'm stuffed!!!
It's all over.
I've got my special guests arriving soon.
The top of society and their dogs!
What do I tell them?
I've tried to do my best
I've got Philip Merricks onside
It's so simple
Just get the harrier eggs and move them!
Why are they worried about lead shot?
Not even I'm mad enough to eat the grouse!
I'm a vegetarian for goodness sake!
And now all this worming treatment controversy
I'm a conservationist protecting the moor
I don't need science to prove I'm right
They try and pin the flooding on me
It's not my fault it rains
The poor shouldn't live near rivers
It's ok. Mark Avery will win!
So what to do?
I can't see a future in driven grouse shooting
I love you guys
but I'm going to have to let you go.
I can't even go hunting in Malta thanks to Packham
I'm going to have to take up fly fishing
Go get my waders.