WEBVTT

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The competition is fierce and growing. 

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As the verticals become saturated

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competitors are beating us on price,

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AI startups are moving faster, and eating away at our incumbent advantage

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And VCs are beginning to buy into the hype as well.

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AI is just a buzzword

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Our customers don't want all that crap

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Sir,

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Startups...

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StartupYard has announced 2 rounds of acceleration

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For "deep tech companies." 

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Please Google: AI/ML, Bots, and Blockchain.

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You were supposed to innovate! 

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Our corporate guidelines stress Innovation!

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Now I find out some assholes in a garage have handed you your own asses!

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How many memos have I circulated?

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How many goddamn workshops?

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And we're having to compete with "startups" 

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That attack narrow verticals with new technologies

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And there's no room to pad out our services with consultancy and IT support centers

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Sir, AI cuts down costs and frees up companies to...

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Consulting is our CORE BUSINESS you moron! 

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Sir, customers prefer new tech!

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Tell me that story when you're lining up for the dole

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It's all over!

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It used to be that

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We could sell software and then

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have a customer's balls in a vice grip for years

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We could charge for IT support, travel, and fat administration fees. 

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We could make a project that should take 6 weeks take 6 months

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It was so good while it lasted. 

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And these lean startups have come up from nowehere and made us IRRELEVANT!

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There used to be honor in this business

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kickbacks and sweetheart deals. Money for the taking.

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We had the Europe by the balls. 

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Customers totally dependent

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On our shitty, outdated, overpriced hardware, they couldn't stop using even if they tried!

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And now some college kids can create a neural network overnight, and beat us at our own game

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And they don't even charge for support

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I made my career on overcharging for support

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I may never get a fat bonus again!

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It's ok Anna. The robots won't take your job!

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We stopped innovating

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We became everything we used to hate

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We're dinosaurs

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The war is lost

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But be warned: They'll drag me out of this corporation kicking and screaming.

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I don't give a fuck about quarterly reports anymore. 

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Let's go cash in our stock options.