WEBVTT 0 00:00.500 --> 00:03.250 We have caught Southampton FC spying 1 00:04.000 --> 00:05.500 Will Salt has disappeared 2 00:05.650 --> 00:07.500 We think he might be the next James Bond 3 00:08.000 --> 00:12.000 and unfortunately our only evidence is a photo of the lad in a field with an iPhone 4 00:12.900 --> 00:15.500 so our season is over and the team can go to Germany on holibobs. 5 00:17.500 --> 00:19.000 Wait a minute, what about getting Southampton kicked out of the play-offs 6 00:19.000 --> 00:21.500 so we can play in the final? 7 00:24.750 --> 00:26.500 Herr Gibson 8 00:27.500 --> 00:28.500 The EFL... 9 00:31.000 --> 00:33.500 The EFL is going to fine Southampton a few quid 10 00:34.000 --> 00:36.000 and that'll be that. 11 00:53.000 --> 00:58.500 If you think we shouldn't go to Wembley because we lost to a better team, leave now. 12 01:13.000 --> 01:15.000 For fuck's sake! They spied on us from half a mile away with an iPhone! 13 01:15.250 --> 01:17.750 This is fucking ridiculous. 14 01:18.750 --> 01:23.250 I didn't throw all my toys out of the pram for fucking nothing, you useless halfwits! 15 01:25.250 --> 01:28.000 £200 million straight down the bloody thunderbox! 16 01:29.250 --> 01:31.000 Yes, he's forgotten we would still need to beat Hull. 17 01:31.500 --> 01:34.000 I got all my media pals on this and what for? For fuck all, you cunts! 18 01:34.750 --> 01:37.750 And now we look like a bunch of pathetic pussies. 19 01:37.500 --> 01:40.500 A KC like Lionel Hutz from the bloody Simpsons, a crying manager and what about that man-bunned tit? 20 01:40.500 --> 01:42.750 We have told him to get a haircut and to stop being a whinging bellend. 21 01:42.750 --> 01:46.250 I don't give a flying fuck, you are all bloody incompetent. 22 01:46.500 --> 01:48.789 The tickets have all been sold to Southampton and Hull supporters. 23 01:48.789 --> 01:52.000 I was looking forward to a day out at Wembley, you fuckers. 24 01:53.000 --> 01:54.500 Now we are going to be playing Lincoln away next season. 25 01:56.000 --> 01:57.750 And now we might get a points deduction for our own frenzied media shithousery. 26 01:57.750 --> 02:00.500 Minus 6 points, Lincoln away, no pot to piss in, fucking astounding, you tossers. 27 02:00.500 --> 02:03.500 You should all be strung up from the highest lampposts 28 02:04.500 --> 02:08.000 tarred and feathered 29 02:08.750 --> 02:13.500 and pelted in the bollocks with hornet's nests and fox turds 30 02:14.000 --> 02:16.750 before being blasted by a flamethrower 31 02:17.500 --> 02:21.750 and then to make it even worse 32 02:27.000 --> 02:29.000 I'll make all you cunts live in Middlesbrough. 33 02:30.500 --> 02:34.000 You'll never work again 34 02:34.500 --> 02:36.500 much like everyone else in Middlesbrough. 35 02:41.000 --> 02:42.500 As for Southampton, 36 02:43.000 --> 02:47.500 bunch of southern cunts who are a bit good at football. Why not us? 37 02:48.500 --> 02:53.000 Our team were blowing out of their arses at 60 minutes in each game. 38 02:54.000 --> 02:56.000 We couldn't score in a brothel with £20 sellotaped to our heads. 39 02:56.500 --> 02:59.750 We only won two of our last 12 games 40 03:00.000 --> 03:02.500 including against Sheffield bloody Wednesday who finished on zero points. Nada! 41 03:04.750 --> 03:07.500 Don't worry, northerners are dead friendly really. 42 03:14.250 --> 03:16.250 It is just so unfair *sobs* 43 03:19.250 --> 03:23.250 We are owed this aren't we? 44 03:25.550 --> 03:26.750 Why can't we be in the Prem with £200 million in the bank? 45 03:31.500 --> 03:33.750 Why Southampton? 46 03:40.750 --> 03:46.250 and not us? 47 03:46.500 --> 03:49.000 It is so bloody unfair. 48 03:53.750 --> 03:56.000 Curse the EFL and southern bastards.