WEBVTT

0
00:00.500 --> 00:03.250
Recruitment is tanking across many areas.

1
00:04.000 --> 00:05.500
From abroad

2
00:05.650 --> 00:07.500
and domestic too

3
00:08.000 --> 00:12.000
The money’s running out

4
00:12.900 --> 00:15.500
And staff morale is in the toilet

5
00:17.500 --> 00:19.000
We have new interdisciplinary MAs

6
00:19.000 --> 00:21.500
and that will rectify everything

7
00:24.750 --> 00:26.500
Mein Fuhrer

8
00:27.500 --> 00:28.500
Cultural Heritage

9
00:31.000 --> 00:33.500
Cultural Heritage is DOA

10
00:34.000 --> 00:36.000
And Video Games (Narratives) is even worse

11
00:53.000 --> 00:58.500
These people will stay. School Manager. Research Director. Education Director. People Director.

12
01:13.000 --> 01:15.000
That was my only strategy!

13
01:15.250 --> 01:17.750
And you’ve fucked it up!

14
01:18.750 --> 01:23.250
You repeatedly told me this would work!

15
01:25.250 --> 01:28.000
But clearly I’m surrounded by fools

16
01:29.250 --> 01:31.000
We bet the house on Cultural Heritage

17
01:31.500 --> 01:34.000
You told me everyone else was doing it

18
01:34.750 --> 01:37.750
And absolutely raking it in

19
01:37.500 --> 01:40.500
But where are the students!

20
01:40.500 --> 01:42.750
Mein Fuhrer it seemed a good idea at the time

21
01:42.750 --> 01:46.250
I’ve been betrayed by idiot academics!

22
01:46.500 --> 01:48.790
Mein Fuhrer we thought it would work

23
01:48.790 --> 01:52.000
Work?! No fucking students are applying!

24
01:53.000 --> 01:54.500
They’re not that stupid!

25
01:56.000 --> 01:57.750
And now we’re millions in the hole!

26
01:57.750 --> 02:00.500
And we’ve changed the whole School to fit the plan!

27
02:00.500 --> 02:03.500
And even canned MA History of Art to make space!

28
02:04.500 --> 02:08.000
Cultural Heritage is just a re-badged version of History of Art!

29
02:08.750 --> 02:13.500
And I’ve got to report to Faculty tomorrow and convince them it’s all OK!

30
02:14.000 --> 02:16.750
Oh god how I hate doing that because I know we’re fucked!

31
02:17.500 --> 02:21.750
Faculty Board call me silly names, like ‘Temu Stalin’

32
02:27.000 --> 02:29.000
Oh how I’m sick of this place

33
02:30.500 --> 02:34.000
Even the mould taking over Woodland Road

34
02:34.500 --> 02:36.500
Shows me more respect than you lot

35
02:41.000 --> 02:42.500
Nincompoops

36
02:43.000 --> 02:47.500
You told me that more permeability would save us

37
02:48.500 --> 02:53.000
And more middle managers would increase compliance by 50%

38
02:54.000 --> 02:56.000
But this was hot shit

39
02:56.500 --> 02:59.750
No-one has a clue what they’re doing

40
03:00.000 --> 03:02.500
Just look at the dog’s breakfast of a PGT core skills unit

41
03:04.750 --> 03:07.500
It’s not your fault, it was a shit idea to begin with

42
03:14.250 --> 03:16.250
How can I attend another School plenary

43
03:19.250 --> 03:23.250
Without another interdisciplinary MA to propose

44
03:25.550 --> 03:26.750
It’s time

45
03:31.500 --> 03:33.750
Move everyone from core undergraduate teaching

46
03:40.750 --> 03:46.250
And activate the emergency plans for a new MA in global humanities

47
03:46.500 --> 03:49.000
I’m getting the next plane to Barbados

48
03:53.750 --> 03:56.000
Don’t fuck it up.