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Here's the latest on the Imperial strike

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We've action in Physics,

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Maths and EEE.

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Now we have Civil Engineering and Computing

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and it now looks like there's only going to be more.

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This wasn't what you were telling me

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You said it was falling apart

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President,

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the benchmarks

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the benchmarks, we tried to fix them, but they're not holding up

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In fact they're completely f****d

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Everyone leave the room, except the CFO, the Deans and the Provost (and Deputy President).

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The damn benchmarks!

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We tried to bury them years ago!

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What on earth were you thinking!

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How the hell were they ever going to help!

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When has it ever been a smart move

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to rely on HR?

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They just needed to eat the 2%

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not be given excuses to fight back!

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President, UCL are giving their staff much more!

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But they're not about to spend £2 billion on buildings!

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President, the staff don't appreciate that.

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I might as well tear this all up!

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What's the point!

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We push down on staff pay,

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push up overseas fees,

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that's how we stuff the coffers.

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That was the plan and it was going well

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until you brought in HR and their benchmarks

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to destroy all it all!

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You thought it was a good idea to arm our enemies?

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What were you thinking?

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And then you blame UCEA

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when you don't can't do simple maths

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You really think

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our lecturers are paid more than the senior lecturers.

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You forgot UCL pushed their grades up the spine.

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You forgot the 2018 Pay review

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recommended upper quartile.

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I don't think you even understand f*****g quartiles!

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It's alright, I don't understand quartiles either.

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Now even our students know

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we 're incapable of managing to do

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simple maths.

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We look like fools.

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Imperial's supposed to be one of the highest ranked universities in the world,

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not a poor relation to UCL...

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run by idiots.