WEBVTT

0
00:00.000 --> 00:05.000
Did I tell you about Carl? Carl, he's the chocolate milk throwing kid.

1
00:05.000 --> 00:07.500
So Carl comes to school drunk.

2
00:07.500 --> 00:10.500
And says that someone stole his water bottle

3
00:11.000 --> 00:16.000
when he wasn't looking

4
00:17.500 --> 00:21.500
and must have put vodka in it.

5
00:21.500 --> 00:24.000
Vodka!

6
00:29.500 --> 00:31.000
And he didn't do it!

7
00:31.000 --> 00:34.500
and his defense is that he doesn't have vodka at home

8
00:38.000 --> 00:40.000
Vodka!

9
00:41.000 --> 00:47.640
so we call his mom and she says the same thing

10
00:47.640 --> 00:50.750
"We don't have vodka at the house!"

11
00:50.750 --> 00:56.000
So I say ma'am, it doesn't matter where the vodka came from

12
00:58.000 --> 00:59.500
he's still getting drunk at school

13
00:59.500 --> 01:01.500
drunk at school

14
01:04.200 --> 01:06.000
and it's not even good vodka!

15
01:06.590 --> 01:08.500
it's the cheapest gordons he could find!

16
01:13.000 --> 01:14.500
and then he goes to lunch

17
01:14.500 --> 01:16.500
a lunch he's not even supposed to be at

18
01:16.500 --> 01:20.000
and he gets a chocolate milk

19
01:21.000 --> 01:27.000
and throws the milk at the ceiling

20
01:35.000 --> 01:36.500
so it's raining chocolate milk

21
01:36.500 --> 01:39.700
and kids are going home after being splashed!

22
01:41.000 --> 01:44.000
So he hides in the bathroom after that lunch

23
01:44.000 --> 01:47.000
and goes to lunch number two

24
01:47.000 --> 01:49.000
But he can't find chocolate milk

25
01:50.000 --> 01:53.000
so he bounces from table to table

26
01:54.750 --> 01:56.000
like a chocolate milk scavenger

27
01:56.000 --> 01:58.000
and sits down after finding one

28
01:58.000 --> 02:02.500
and throws it across the cafeteria

29
02:05.000 --> 02:07.000
now we have splash #2

30
02:10.000 --> 02:11.000
A second chocolate milk!

31
02:11.000 --> 02:13.000
and then goes back to the bathroom

32
02:15.000 --> 02:17.000
just to come out for a third lunch

33
02:17.000 --> 02:20.750
and throw another bottle of chocolate milk!

34
02:21.000 --> 02:28.000
this kid is a menace with the milk!

35
02:29.000 --> 02:30.000
all while drunk

36
02:30.000 --> 02:32.800
on vodka that isn't his!

37
02:36.900 --> 02:39.800
because someone else put it in his water bottle!

38
02:40.000 --> 02:42.750
When he wasn't looking, of course

39
02:50.750 --> 02:55.000
this kid now has at least 30 days in DAEP

40
02:56.689 --> 02:58.189
and will he get more days?

41
02:58.189 --> 03:04.000
as many as we can give for chocolate milk crimes

42
03:04.000 --> 03:09.000
I mean, this milk bandit is a menace

43
03:09.000 --> 03:11.500
I mean, who throws chocolate milk?

44
03:16.689 --> 03:20.000
and he still maintains his vodka innocence

45
03:23.900 --> 03:26.500
Vodka that someone else put in his bottle

46
03:31.000 --> 03:36.500
because they keep everything but vodka at his house!