WEBVTT

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As we approach week 14 in the 2025 NFL season

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the final playoff standings

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are taking shape in the Future Champions League

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the CT Fighting Lobsters now stand at 6-7 after losing 3 straight games

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and the forces commanded by Mac and HaoWei are both rapidly approaching from the south

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But I will win my week 14 matchup

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and secure a playoff spot

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Comissioner...

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you play...

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You play Zach's 2nd ranked team this week

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and if you lose you could miss the playoffs

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Everyone not named Dowdle, St. Brown, McBride, or Collins can leave the room

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This is fucking unacceptable!

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I drafted a championship team

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just like I do every season

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and yet here we are again

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facing humiliation and defeat

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at the hands of the same teams

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that beat me year after year

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and now I might not even make the playoffs?

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Commissioner we simply do not have the points to keep up...

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Then find the fucking points

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There are no more points to be had

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How dare you disobey me?

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This is all your fault

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I am a wise and skilled manager

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I make the best picks and always put out the optimal lineups each week

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but you assholes always let me down

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Your cowardice and incompetence now have me

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facing the fucking consolation bracket

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THE CONSOLATION BRACKET

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How am I supposed to beat Andy if I can't even make the playoffs?

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For three years I have watched him bring home the league trophy

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and for how many more years have I suffered in the post season?

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Always on the outside looking in

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While these less skilled managers, these rats

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Take what is rightfully mine!

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It is not fair

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And it is definitely not my fault

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It is everyone else's fault!

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I am perfect!

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Don't worry he does this every year

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Maybe Rico Dowdle will have another flukey 30 point game

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and I will sneak into the playoffs with one of the lower seeds

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It's possible...

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But if not...

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Then I'm afraid the only thing left for me

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is to be just as cocky and overconfident next year

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And pray that I don't have to be a bar back...