WEBVTT

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We have sent out messages of condolence.

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Abundance of caution.

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Safety is our top priority.

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Our partners in safety.

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Where our employees enjoy…

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They aren’t buying it…

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We’re considering pizza…

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In the meantime…

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Billboards

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from lawfirms are popping up.

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YouTubers are…

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All level 2 NURPS out now!

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Line checks!

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Drug tests!

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Find Gummer!

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Don’t worry, you’ve got your Porsche

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Hire more NURPS now!

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Cheaper catering!

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No bottled water!

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Motel 6 everywhere!

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But event reports…

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We ignore those already.

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But the NTSB is on us.

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I’ll pay them off.

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Bring me Hemko now!

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Bug the vans!

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Drug the catering!

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Drown them in bulletins!

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Make a new banner!

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For fuck sake find me Gummer! And Hemko!

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This must stop!

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They are uniting against me!

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The stock price is tanking.

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I was going to be on Rogan.

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And The View!

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But now…

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I’d be lucky to get on CNN.

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Who do I blame?

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Maybe Sideshow?

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Or Joe Bell?

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Or the van drivers?

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He’ll find a scapegoat.

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Where is Gummer?

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Oh fuck it…

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Maybe I’ll…

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Restructure this place.

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Let NURPS unionize and actually embrace safety.

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Or just put up…

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An appearance mirror.