WEBVTT

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Team Al are hitting the ball well

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They birdied the third

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Pared the fourth

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And are in prime position at the fifth hole

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Team JB are also playing well

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They have Marshy

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He's got a dodgy back and never really played before

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My skipper Jamo

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Marshy

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Marshy hit a hole in one at the par 3

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It went straight in

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If you don't think we can still win this, I suggest you leave now

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How the fuck did that bastard

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Get a whole in fucking one?!

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He's never even played properly before, for fuck sake

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He doesn't even have his own clubs!

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And that fucking JB

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I bet he is hitting straight drives

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Big headed prick, normally slices them everywhere!

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And Chund, I bet he is playing well too, yeah?

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He's hitting worldies to four feet

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And what the fuck is my team doing?!

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Two over par on the last two holes

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The fucking swines, useless, all of them

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I should have had Bolsh

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But no

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He lied about his fucking handicap

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Same as Marshy? He shot a fucking 89!

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Instead, Team Al are hitting birdies left right and centre

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While I'm left with 15 foot par saves on every hole. Every fucking hole!

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It's hard to carry this team.

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I've had to carry everyone in cricket, now the fucking golf too!

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Cameron fucking Stevens

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Full of promise but more interested in drinking beer

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Hit the green, not the fucking bar

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Fuck it! Just fuck it!

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I really don't know what I can do to save us.

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I had four players, none of us can put the ball in the fucking hole!

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We should have practiced

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But no, I played FIFA instead

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And I lost to some 14-year-old punk online

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It's ok, we're all having a curry later

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But I should have hit more fairways

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It was only Matt's second round

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It's not fair

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And Tim did his best

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I demanded too much, I never should have been so confident of victory, I'm a fool

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A bad captain

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Fucking Marshy...