WEBVTT

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Lachlan moving to Germany. We panicked.

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Losing him?

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Unthinkable.

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Remote-first! He stays. Love this team. Tech makes it easy.

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We thought we had it figured out.

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Let’s check schedules.

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Lachlan, your time zone?

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Uh… sir

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CET...

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CET. Is that manageable?

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Surely it's manageable.

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Listen up. Digital, IT and Product. Leave the room now!

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So, our standup is 4PM!!

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It's too fucking late!

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We can no longer do 9AM!

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That will be midnight in Germany

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Async check ins?

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No one reads those things

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YOU ARE STAYING IN THE OFFICE DAMN IT

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STAYING RIGHT HERE IN AUSTRALIA

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Time zones won

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No more remote

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You seem angry boss

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Do you have any idea how hard it is to lead devs?

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They are entitled

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They are IMBECILES

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They miss deadlines, break staging

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Argue about tabs vs spaces

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Commit bugs with messages like "fix stuff"

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and NOW I have to factor in TIME ZONES?!

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They deploy on Fridays! FRIDAYS!

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They say 'it works on my machine' and LEAVE!

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And we lose a pong player

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The remaining player base in in shambles

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It was the one thing...

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...holding us together

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The last bit of joy in this forsaken company

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Gone. Like our CI/CD pipeline every Monday

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And don't get me started on QA

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They catch the weirdest bugs...

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..but somehow miss the showstoppers

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Staging data is still really bad

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And now guy is leaving

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I thought we could do great

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Believe...

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I used to believe in the team

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But now, it's just firefighting. Every. Single. Day.

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Maybe... maybe..

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I should just switch to marketing