WEBVTT 0 00:00.000 --> 00:05.000 He asked me, can you read me these scores? Come on, hurry! 1 00:05.000 --> 00:07.500 I gotta know if Gav touched Jay's balls 2 00:07.500 --> 00:10.500 Obviously my dumbass can't read but I did my best 3 00:11.000 --> 00:16.000 So I grabbed my phone and first thing I saw was who Gavin started at QB 4 00:17.500 --> 00:21.500 This stupid dumbfuck started Tyler Huntley... 5 00:21.500 --> 00:24.000 oh fuck 6 00:29.500 --> 00:31.000 oh fuck 7 00:31.000 --> 00:34.500 How you gonna be stupid enough to do something like that? 8 00:38.000 --> 00:40.000 I can't... 9 00:41.000 --> 00:47.640 So, anyway, how was I supposed to say Gavin didn't stand a chance in hell? Tyler fucking Huntley? 10 00:47.640 --> 00:50.750 So I frantically look for a final score somewhere 11 00:50.750 --> 00:56.000 Obviously I'm expecting trash... *laugh* 12 00:58.000 --> 00:59.500 and then... and then 13 00:59.500 --> 01:01.500 I look up at the TV Screen 14 01:04.200 --> 01:06.000 And the dolphins have 6 points 15 01:06.590 --> 01:08.500 with just minutes left to go 16 01:13.000 --> 01:14.500 oh fuck... 17 01:14.500 --> 01:16.500 and Huntley scores a god damn touchdown 18 01:16.500 --> 01:20.000 Jay's balls were groped by Tyler fucking Huntley 19 01:21.000 --> 01:27.000 Now who's the dumbfuck!? Can't touch these balls, Gavin smashed them with a practice squad QB 20 01:35.000 --> 01:36.500 And that's just the beginning 21 01:36.500 --> 01:39.700 Wait until you hear about Cody! 22 01:41.000 --> 01:44.000 NO, look, seriously, Cody's up by some 30 points 23 01:44.000 --> 01:47.000 and Kolter is left with just his RB 24 01:47.000 --> 01:49.000 So he's crying 25 01:50.000 --> 01:53.000 Walker scores 34 26 01:54.750 --> 01:56.000 fuck 27 01:56.000 --> 01:58.000 I can't... 28 01:58.000 --> 02:02.500 Cody say's "I'm done" and leaves the chat, like a little bitch 29 02:05.000 --> 02:07.000 oh fuck... 30 02:10.000 --> 02:11.000 "I'll kill myself" 31 02:11.000 --> 02:13.000 "I'll do it" 32 02:15.000 --> 02:17.000 "I'll spill my brains tonight!" 33 02:17.000 --> 02:20.750 "Getting the god damn gun now and you can't stop me!" 34 02:21.000 --> 02:28.000 Seconds later, Amon Ra St. Brown catches a touchdbown on the last pass to beat Cameron's bitch ass 35 02:29.000 --> 02:30.000 Last pass? 36 02:30.000 --> 02:32.800 Last fucking pass! 37 02:36.900 --> 02:39.800 Then he leaves the chat! 38 02:40.000 --> 02:42.750 What a bitch!? 39 02:50.750 --> 02:55.000 I've never experienced anything like it... such fuckery 40 02:56.689 --> 02:58.189 So what did you tell your buddy? 41 02:58.189 --> 03:04.000 That Gavin, Kolter, and Conner won and no big deal. Life goes on 42 03:04.000 --> 03:09.000 Unless your Cody's dumb ass 43 03:09.000 --> 03:11.500 Oh, I'm sorry... 44 03:16.689 --> 03:20.000 Tyler fucking Huntley? 45 03:23.900 --> 03:26.500 Undefeated but get's violated by Huntley 46 03:31.000 --> 03:36.500 I couldn't fucking believe it, but I wasn't the dumb fuck. The rest were blowouts, fuck