Sir, 120 miles of pipe are on site
we can confidently lay it
over the whole course
every green every tee
and all for 800k
excellent so that's the
drainage sorted at last
erm it's irrigation pipes
not drainage
we got a deal on taps too
could greens committee please remain
the rest please leave the room
what the fuck are clowns you smoking
irrigation irri fucking gation
look out the window
Do you see the Gobi Desert ?
Tribes of Bedouins ?
its September and we're under water again
irrigation my arse ,
We've got ducks on every fairway
Wallasey and Caldy have irrigation
Comparing us to Wallasey
sir we're a premier course
Moron, we're as close to Wallasey
As Sanderson is to Brad Pitt
look up God has sorted irrigationion
its called rain
its free , doesn't need pipes
and we don't get fleeced
for 800 k by some slippery bastard
Lord give me strength
Do you stars do cabaret ?
Didn't we learn from last year
The 5th was driver, fairway wood
and a fucking paddle board
and here we go again
How did this happen
which genius thought we needed more water
And you just know those arseholes
from Caldy are pissing themselves
about the Heswall suba diving and golf club
Don't tell me you've sold your Lilo Frieda
I'm sick of every other club
sending me Snorkels and flippers
some mother fekker
even left a canoe in my parking space
Irri fucking gation
what's your next genius plan
harvesting moon cheese ?