WEBVTT

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We have the woke mind virus cornered

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We banned the libtard journalists...

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...and links are now being censored

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You can't say "mastodon" or "post" or "Elon sucks"

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and that little creep posting flight details has had his legs broken

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Excellent, excellent...

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We'll go after the trans people and Jews tomorrow.

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Elon...

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That poll...

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That poll you posted about resigning as CEO of twitter

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it has not gone your way.

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Everyone except for Sacks, Calacanis, Andreeson, and Catturd, get the fuck out.

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How in the fuck could this happen?!

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How is it even fucking possible to lose my own poll?!!!

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I paid $44 Billion for this garbage webshite and now I have to fucking resign?!

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I even have my mom simping for me in the comments FFS

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not that she makes any fucking sense!

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I should have just made my own website, "Super Social."

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But NOOOO, I hade to go "Vox Populi, Vox Dei" on myself

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Well "Vox Populi" is fucking dumb, what the fuck!

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Elon we can just make an excuse to run the poll over again

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I already did that with the last one Jason, you fucking tool!

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Perhaps I can take over personally

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Yeah because you're just full of brilliant fucking ideas aren't you?

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Fucking idiots, all of you!

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Don't you have a podcast to promote?

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The one where you and a bunch of has-been losers

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take turns grifting money from your gaggle of wannabe nerds?

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Now the Saudis are up my ass for interest payments

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And I'm stuck in this hellhole sniffing my own farts with a bunch of edgelord losers

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All my old supporters are turning on me

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and the only  ones who still like me are MAGA losers, and Russians!

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This isn't support to happen to me.

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I'm the goddamn rocket man electric car genius

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I put the goddamn internet in space, FFS!

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Fuck it.

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I should be digging Tesla out of the massive crisis I created, not banning URLs

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If I had just paid the $1 Billion severance penalty and walked away,

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I would still be the world's richest man

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Now that fucking handbag salesman has me beat...

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And don't even fucking get me started about Bezos!

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It's OK, i'll show you how to set up Mastodon later.

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I just wanted a free speech platform...

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Then I realized I fucking hate free speech

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I just tweeted again, BTW

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Have fun walking that one back, assholes.

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On the bright side, at least I made total fools out of Matt Taibbi and Bari Weiss

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You do have to appreciate the small victories in life.

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Make Dril CEO