WEBVTT

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...despite the online outcries

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of many overly rigid Catholics

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who originate from these areas

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We believe we can slander them online

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and fulfill your modernist agenda.

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Fine. Put the Pachamamas out.

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Prominently in the Mass. I want them in full view.

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Your Holiness,

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I regret to tell you

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They have been batted into the river Tiber

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and the video has leaked online.

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These cardinals will stay here: Keitel, Jodl, Krebs, and Burgdorf.

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The rigids did WHAT!

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Those Pachamamas were my legacy!

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Who do they think they are, sedevacantists?

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So this is what it has come to!

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My twitter has been lying to me!

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Everyone is lying to me, even my ultramontanists!

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These traditionalists are sick! They have a double life!

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Rigidity is not a gift of God.

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Your Holiness, they are getting stronger.

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They have Taylor Marshall! And Tim Gordon!

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But we tried hacking their Wikipedia entry...

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You idiots used a Vatican IP address!

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...you have coprophilia!

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They appear good because 

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they look like they follow the Law;

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But it's just more coprophilia!

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Haven't they read Laudato Si??

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Didn't they see the breast-feeding animals?

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We need Communion in the hand!

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Not on the tongue! And no more dead Latin!

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I wrote Laudato Si so they understood

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our real God is Mother Earth

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And the Pachamamas were our gateway!

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The Alta Vendita told us!

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It was the path to modernism!

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The stubborn rigids are whitened sepulchres!

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Why do they even like Benedict more than me?

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I was even Time's Man of the Year!

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They HAVE to bow down to Pachamama!

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It's OK, we still have Novus Ordo Masses.

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We got Benedict to resign

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and hid McCarrick so that we could obliterate Traditional Catholicism.

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And yet they win.

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Make some new Pachamamas.

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Pretend you fished them out of the Tiber, even though no one will believe it.

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Beyond that, I will not say one word about this!

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But tradition will be gone soon.