WEBVTT

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Good Afternoon Meine Fuhrer

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We have had reports

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Metal Detectorists falling sick

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One of the sick was apparently 

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 trying to swim in the barley stubble naked.

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It was a very hot day 

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They must have had Heat Stroke

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Meine Fuhrer

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Eva 

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had Baked them one of her "special"

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 Chocolate Brown Cakes

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Brown Carter and Kribbs stay behind 

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What the fu*% are you telling me

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Eva had baked them space cakes?  

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This is meant to be a metal detecting Rally

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You stupid people

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These was meant to be sent to

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Creamfields and Leeds festival.

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This was meant to  be all about the hammy dances

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Not getting chased by pink unicorns riding Harley Davidsons

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They certainly looked Hammered !

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This is no laughing matter you bafoon

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Meine Fuhrer Im Sorry

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The event resembles a scene 

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out of a zombie film

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We have had to send our luftwaffe

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to pinpoint the poor souls lost around 

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"High" Melton

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What happened to all the usual party games

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Irish Bingo 

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And the Token Hunt

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Now the marquee looks like

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A Field asylum

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for the deranged and the marquee covered in vomit

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I will never hear the last of this

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Facebook instagram

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and all that social networking shi*

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instead of pictures showing 

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WW2 Buttons and a random Hammered Coin

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Instead its going to contain Ambulances

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and spaced out detectorists

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Do you have any left Eva?

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We need to make this right

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Remove some of your golden buttons and medals

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and bury them

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in the plough line

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And pull out the karaoke

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Someone will want to sing

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Black Sabbath's  “Sweet Leaf”