Good Afternoon Meine Fuhrer
We have had reports
Metal Detectorists falling sick
One of the sick was apparently
trying to swim in the barley stubble naked.
It was a very hot day
They must have had Heat Stroke
Meine Fuhrer
Eva
had Baked them one of her "special"
Chocolate Brown Cakes
Brown Carter and Kribbs stay behind
What the fu*% are you telling me
Eva had baked them space cakes?
This is meant to be a metal detecting Rally
You stupid people
These was meant to be sent to
Creamfields and Leeds festival.
This was meant to be all about the hammy dances
Not getting chased by pink unicorns riding Harley Davidsons
They certainly looked Hammered !
This is no laughing matter you bafoon
Meine Fuhrer Im Sorry
The event resembles a scene
out of a zombie film
We have had to send our luftwaffe
to pinpoint the poor souls lost around
"High" Melton
What happened to all the usual party games
Irish Bingo
And the Token Hunt
Now the marquee looks like
A Field asylum
for the deranged and the marquee covered in vomit
I will never hear the last of this
Facebook instagram
and all that social networking shi*
instead of pictures showing
WW2 Buttons and a random Hammered Coin
Instead its going to contain Ambulances
and spaced out detectorists
Do you have any left Eva?
We need to make this right
Remove some of your golden buttons and medals
and bury them
in the plough line
And pull out the karaoke
Someone will want to sing
Black Sabbath's Sweet Leaf