It was parked on the jetty in Pompey
He drove it it up the M27
all the way up the M3 for weekenders
then brought it back on Monday morning.
and we reckon he got in a few runs to Morrisons as well.
Alright. How long do you want me
to take his FMT600 off him?
Sir...
...the thing is...
We've already binned him as Skipper
New bloke starts tomorrow.
Will the junior service please leave the room for a moment?
You're having a fucking giraffe!!
He's the skipper of the fucking QE!
He can't have a cheeky borrow of the unit car for the weekend?!
What about that Wren you're shagging in the office?
Dowdy Doris with the Princess Leia hair buns?
How many "duty trips" have you made to see her?
Or that "family emergency" in Twickenham
that came up the day before the Army vs Navy match?
Sir, remember the Naval Service core values...
Don't come that 'C2DRIL' bollocks with me!!!
But we can't just turn a blind eye...
Alright, Mouth Almighty, just fucking run the bloke!
Do you really need to fuck his whole career?!
I notice it's a different story
When your submariner mates get caught out!
Crash the fucking Astute every other week
wreck the odd oil tanker, shag the female YOs
and the worst that seems to happen is they get kicked upstairs
to some fucking cushty Admiral's billet.
This bloke wasn't even rinsing the GPC card. He paid for all the fuel himself!
Alright, maybe he could have asked around
Bound to be some career brown-noser itching to get in his good books
driving up that way anyway and given a lift
Ship's company, Wardroom, Senior Staff
They have a fucking WhatsApp group for everything now
one of the ship's company could have helped him out
Probably thought he shouldn't get involved in all that
He is the Skipper after all
Not like he's running off to shag the unit bike behind his Mrs' back!
Don't listen to him. Your hair buns look lovely.
You lot wait til you're in civvy jobs
because this is honestly fuck all.
Fuck all squared.
Alright. Bin him then.
But now we'll have to invent new DLE courses
and make them mandatory to get an FMT
fucking admin ball-ache...