WEBVTT

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It was parked on the jetty in Pompey

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He drove it it up the M27

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all the way up the M3 for weekenders

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then brought it back on Monday morning.

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and we reckon he got in a few runs to Morrisons as well.

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Alright. How long do you want me

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to take his FMT600 off him?

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Sir...

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...the thing is...

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We've already binned him as Skipper

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New bloke starts tomorrow.

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Will the junior service please leave the room for a moment?

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You're having a fucking giraffe!!

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He's the skipper of the fucking QE!

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He can't have a cheeky borrow of the unit car for the weekend?!

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What about that Wren you're shagging in the office?

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Dowdy Doris with the Princess Leia hair buns?

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How many "duty trips" have you made to see her?

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Or that "family emergency" in Twickenham

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that came up the day before the Army vs Navy match?

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Sir, remember the Naval Service core values...

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Don't come that 'C2DRIL' bollocks with me!!!

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But we can't just turn a blind eye...

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Alright, Mouth Almighty, just fucking run the bloke!

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Do you really need to fuck his whole career?!

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I notice it's a different story

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When your submariner mates get caught out!

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Crash the fucking Astute every other week

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wreck the odd oil tanker, shag the female YOs

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and the worst that seems to happen is they get kicked upstairs

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to some fucking cushty Admiral's billet.

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This bloke wasn't even rinsing the GPC card. He paid for all the fuel himself!

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Alright, maybe he could have asked around

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Bound to be some career brown-noser itching to get in his good books

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driving up that way anyway and given a lift

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Ship's company, Wardroom, Senior Staff

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They have a fucking WhatsApp group for everything now

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one of the ship's company could have helped him out

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Probably thought he shouldn't get involved in all that

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He is the Skipper after all

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Not like he's running off to shag the unit bike behind his Mrs' back!

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Don't listen to him. Your hair buns look lovely.

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You lot wait til you're in civvy jobs

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because this is honestly fuck all.

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Fuck all squared.

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Alright. Bin him then.

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But now we'll have to invent new DLE courses

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and make them mandatory to get an FMT

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fucking admin ball-ache...