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Marsh forced us to release the asset projections

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He knows USS isn't in deficit

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and the current contribution rate

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would be enough for the next 20 years

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even without de-risking our assets.

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Fine. I assume UCU leadership

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will muzzle him as usual.

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Mr Galvin...

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Marsh...

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Marsh already tweeted about it. Then Otsuka.

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USS Briefs and APJ are doing stuff too.

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Everyone leave the room except for Coughlan, Hill and Tayyebi.

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A year ago the whole Scheme was going to be closed!

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I thought I'd never have to talk to a regulator again!

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I was going to be even richer than I am now!

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Think about the Defined Contribution management fees!

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Marsh was just a random branch rep!

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But then that FUCKING STRIKE happened!

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All those academics...suddenly getting militant?

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What the FUCK just happened?

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Mr Galvin, nobody could have foreseen it.

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That's what employers are supposed to do! 

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But they used to suck at industrial action!

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WELL NOT ANYMORE

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AND NOW WE'RE FACING LEGAL ACTION

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Of course it would have been fine

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if they'd accepted the 12 March deal.

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Cut benefits bit by bit, bleed them slowly.

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UCU management were fine with that.

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But the fucking BRANCHES MOBILISED AGAINST IT

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And then we got the JEP.

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We thought it would be a bunch of ideologues like John Ralfe

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But they actually considered the specifics

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of an open, multi-employer scheme

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with no shareholders

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And shat all over our valuation

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Especially when it came to Test 1

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And all the while, Marsh was getting elected

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to the JNC, so we had no choice but to finally

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give him the real asset projections.

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All we can do now is release a bullshit statement

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It's ok...he'll just fail upwards into another finance job

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What have we got left to say?

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Claim we still need massive de-risking

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and contribution hikes anyway?

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People will see through us instantly.

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UCU Twitter will be all over it.

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And that's BEFORE Josephine Cumbo gets involved.

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Let's hope she doesn't publish this in the FT.