| 00:00 - 00:03 | So Fuhrer Kash, you need to pick an opponent to fight to the death |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Evan and Anthony are poor choices due to their training background |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and Rob, Arran and Guy are 'lovers not fighters', |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | I would advise against fighting anyone with a height or reach advantage, |
| 00:12 - 00:16 | but you need to make your choice as soon as possible to avoid looking like an abject coward |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Easy - I'll fight Smithy. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | He's never trained a day in his life |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Uh... sir.... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Smithy... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Smithy has been training in multiple combat arts |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Ant and Evan have been teaching him in secret |
| 00:45 - 00:48 | *trembles islamicly* |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who can beat me in a fight or has more money than me - leave NOW |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | You're fucking kidding me right?? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I mean PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING!? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | He's shorter than me, I have more money - what else do I need? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | He's probably been training in something gay like Goju-Ryu Karate |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | or Krav Maga, like a god-damn JEW |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I mean have you seen him?! He's tiny! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | He can't hold pads, can't submit anyone, |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | he can't throw a kick, he can't even bob and weave! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sorry m8, are you lookin' in the mirror? |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | But I earn £4,500 per month AFTER TAX! And I have a gun! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Kash, your gun is NOT a substitute for masculinity |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Then why the FUCK did so I spend so much money on one then?! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I studied the blade! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I have no need to fight with my hands |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | like a goddamn fucking peasant fighting for a loaf of bread! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Dat straight up white boi shit, nah mean? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Evan will regret this. I'll let off Ant, but that has nothing to do with him being twice my size. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I mean I reckon I could take Ant but I don't want any harm to befall him |
| 02:14 - 02:17 | I feel like choosing Evan as my opponent to show him what I'm made of |
| 02:17 - 02:22 | ...but I'm busy that day making sure the meat I eat is brutally slaughtered in as much pain as possible! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Then I'm getting a tailored suit made of my paychecks |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Everyone will see who the REAL man is! |
| 02:34 - 02:37 | That is, as long as Max isn't in the same room... |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | This is bullshit... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | All that time Smithy was doing pads I thought Ev and Ant were laughing at him! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Now who can I to take my professional impotence rage out on? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I get trodden on at work all day |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Now when I come home I'll have to watch my mouth |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | because Smithy can break my FUCKING TEETH! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Hannah, don't cry or he'll lock you in your cupboard again |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I guess I could fight Emma's boyfriend |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | He's a vegan and has the strength of an 80 year old woman. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I'll fight him... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Smithy is untouchable for now |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Maybe I need to stop relying on my gun that's 30 minutes away at any given moment and start training. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I'll sign up to the Hot Yoga classes at the YMCA tomorrow |
| 03:53 - 03:57 | Start small, aim tall... |
