00:00 - 00:03 | Mein Gaffer, we've got an update on the Macs situ |
00:04 - 00:05 | we've engaged Infosec, Risk... |
00:05 - 00:07 | ..the cleaners, canteen staff... |
00:08 - 00:12 | and had about 122 meetings |
00:12 - 00:15 | at JS offices right here |
00:17 - 00:19 | Good, good. so we're finally done |
00:19 - 00:21 | we can crack on, yeah? |
00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Gaffer... |
00:27 - 00:28 | Infosec... |
00:31 - 00:33 | Infosec...have blocked everything and all access is revoked |
00:34 - 00:36 | They say it'll be 6 months before we're back up |
00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who works in Governance, Risk, or Assurance, leave |
01:13 - 01:15 | What the ACTUAL F***!!! Are you KIDDING ME??!! |
01:15 - 01:17 | 6 WHOLE BLINKIN MONTHS??!! |
01:18 - 01:23 | After Doug found that backdoor route? And we threw A PARTY???!! |
01:25 - 01:28 | And Lou Lou bought the dev team ones too? |
01:29 - 01:31 | We did everything we were supposed to! |
01:31 - 01:34 | And Cam has now agreed to a ONE DAY SLA!!! |
01:34 - 01:37 | Where do they think we got our machines from... |
01:37 - 01:40 | the back of a BLINKIN LORRY??!! |
01:40 - 01:42 | They think it's too risky |
01:40 - 01:42 | They're not comfy with a Cloud solution |
01:42 - 01:46 | But ALL our software uses Cloud! And they're bloody fine!! |
01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Gaffer, they've KB'd those too |
01:48 - 01:52 | Are you FREAKIN SHEETING ME!! Everything?? |
01:53 - 01:54 | Jira? Saucelabs? Maervelapp? |
01:56 - 01:57 | Not Prezi!! Rach LOVES Prezi!! |
01:57 - 02:00 | What will our Exco do now? |
02:00 - 02:03 | Use PowerPoint? Off of the 80s??!! |
02:04 - 02:08 | Publishing team can't function without JIRA!! |
02:08 - 02:13 | We just want to be able to email! Is that too much to ask? |
02:14 - 02:16 | I mean we are P&P! Didn't this see our intro video?? |
02:17 - 02:21 | We are taking over the agency world for Pete(r)'s sake! |
02:27 - 02:29 | We can't risk a repeat of FIS fiasco |
02:30 - 02:34 | They promised us a world with 2 week change cycles |
02:34 - 02:36 | And we believed them! |
02:41 - 02:42 | We'll need to stretch our SLAs |
02:43 - 02:47 | It will take longer to get things done |
02:48 - 02:53 | No SM can think otherwise surely? |
02:54 - 02:56 | Well maybe not Joel but you get my drift.. |
02:56 - 02:59 | This is worse than when Dave stopped wearing that shell suit jacket! |
03:00 - 03:02 | Gawd I miss that jacket!! |
03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry Maz; he still has it... |
03:14 - 03:16 | It cannot be this difficult... |
03:19 - 03:23 | we must have something up our sleeve |
03:25 - 03:26 | Wait...Who farted? |
03:31 - 03:33 | It was someone who had onions today... |
03:40 - 03:46 | OK get the team prepped. Tell Sarah n Cam we need them urgently |
03:46 - 03:49 | There's only one way we can possibly convince them |
03:53 - 03:56 | we're gonna have to do another darned music video... |