| 00:00 - 00:03 | Sir, I'm afraid there's a troll in Bern Relief. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | In fact, maybe more than one. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | We think maybe 162 of them |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We're still looking into who brought them in |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | but so far we can only track them to here |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | But the group is closed |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | and you've been vetting people... |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Well, actually |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | we, uh |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We've been trying to spend time with our friends and family. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We made sure there was a pinned post. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone who didn't read the pinned post, leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | "READ THE PINNED POST" |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | NOBODY READS THE PINNED POST! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | You know there are trolls all over the place |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | trying to infiltrate and mock the moderators! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | We're selling Tess's book here! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Members aren't allowed to be funnier than us! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | You need to find the ringleader right the fuck away! |
| 01:38 - 01:40 | and expel them from the group with as much drama as possible! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But there are over 4,000 members and only four of us - |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | THIS IS IMPERATIVE! WE CAN'T TAKE CHANCES! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | We are checking profiles as fast as we can |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | PEOPLE WILL BEGIN TO TALK ABOUT BERN RELIEF! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | This is a secret group! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You know the most important thing is to let members know |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | how much we sacrifice by moderating this group! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | The least they could do is kowtow to us! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | BUT THEY DON'T EVEN BUY MY FUCKING COMIC BOOK! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And then they have the fucking nerve to tell me I'm a mansplainer |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | When I've done more for their stupid feminist cause |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | than they could ever do in a thousand fucking years! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I have a wallet full of credentials. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I don't know why I bother. I'M BETTER THAN THAT. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | And then they form other secret groups |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | mock me from afar |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | stalk me on Twitter. Well, I won't stand for it! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I need to organize a basketball team of crack moles! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | My secret group will be secreter than theirs |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I'll show them all - with SCREENSHOTS! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | and I'll take credit for their funny stuff, like Yoko |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Shhh, we know you came up with "is it true?" |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I hope Aimee Mann doesn't unfriend me |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | or, even worse, Mark Hammill |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I really like Star Wars |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I'm a great admin |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | We need to close the group for the foreseeable future |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | until we find the trolls. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Now bring me the moles. |
