| 00:00 - 00:03 | Thousands of Year 13s took Unit 5 Physics today |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Trying to salvage an A after that Unit 4 |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Oxbridge has gone out of the window |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | But they still might get into Imperial |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Worst case, they end up a drug addict at Bristol |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | That's ok, I thought question 1 was easy |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I'm sure I got an A overall |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Unfortunately |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Look Adolf, you fucked it, ok? |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | No decent uni will even look at you now in clearing |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who thinks they met their offer, leave now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | ARE YOU HAVING A LAUGH MATE |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | AQA JUST TOOK ME UP THE ARSE WITHOUT VASELINE |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | IT TOOK ME 3 MONTHS TO RECOVER FROM LAST YEAR'S PAPERS |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I COULDN'T LOOK AT A POTATO FOR WEEKS |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I THOUGHT THEY WOULD MAKE IT EASIER THIS YEAR |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | SURPRISE US BY SETTING SOMETHING DOABLE |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | INSTEAD RUTHERFORD JUST HAD ME VIOLATED |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | AND MARSDEN AND GEIGER JOINED IN FOR BANTS |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But I thought the gas question was ok? |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | OF COURSE YOU'D SAY THAT YOU PRO-LEAVE PRICK |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But it was just an application of PV=nRT |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | YOU'RE TOO THICK TO EVEN REALISE IT CONTRADICTED ITSELF |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | AND WHERE WAS NUCLEAR SAFETY?? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | ALL THAT REVISION DOWN THE SHITTER |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | RIGHT NEXT TO WHERE MY FUTURE IS NOW |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I WANTED TO GO TO OXFORD |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | HAVE YOU HEARD OF ANYONE SUCCESSFUL FROM LINCOLN UNI |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | NOW I'LL BE LUCKY TO EVEN GO THERE |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I HAD LIFE BY THE BALLS |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I WAS GOING TO DO PPE AND JOIN THE TORY PARTY |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Where else will I find linkeminded politicians |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I couldn't bear it if some Eton twat gets in ahead of me |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | That'll make my whole fucking day |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | The chief examiner |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Will write some retarded report about low the marks were |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Like we've all become geniuses overnight |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | When he can't even write a paper properly |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | The astrophysics bit was even harder |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Cassegrain can go shove his telescope up his arse |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok, I got full UMS too |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I can't even take a gap year to retake it |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Everyone will take the piss about how I 'discovered myself' |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Imbeciles |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Physics is just pointless anyway |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | When am I ever going to use gas physics? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Should've dropped it after AS |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I'll just have to become a drug dealer |
