| 00:00 - 00:03 | Jonesy mind we were meant to be going to Magaluf or Berlin |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | it's now changed to Ibiza |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | 420 quid all inclusive |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Johnny has booked us into Mambo Saturday night tay |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | 63 quid each |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Do you know how many windows me and Bartek will need to clean for that |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | We will be up Wester Inch all week, doing 4 and 5 bedroom hooses |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Davy has to cut a lot of hair aswell |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Jackie will need tips |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Rossco has too put fires oot tay |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Rab has to sell motors, deal with it |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Right anybody not coming to Ocean Beach stay here |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I even offered to pay Rossco in, but naw it wasn't good enough |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I thought better of you. |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | You know how low I was after I killed the kids fish |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I still cannae believe Laurie text me that |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | My trip ruined even before we left Edinburgh |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Even Billy King had better shaped eyebrows than me |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | yous all ripping the pish oot me for getting a chicken dinner |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I should have got a pot noodle |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | you were right not to, after your 9 Day Cracker Diet. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I starved myself, one cracker in 9 days |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | you look amazing for it, like Daniel Craig |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | you are winding me up, even Peally the wee wasp won't come |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | he would rather stay with you and Jackie |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | drinking vodka slush and watching Liam sleeping |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | we are meant to be mates |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I am fed up of this place |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Ben Hall snoring like a chainsaw |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | My case getting ransacked, my tshirts are all creased |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I even forgot to pack my Super Ted flip flops |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | am not getting in that fucking red van tonight, no way that's a taxi |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | they Bain Brothers all they do is sleep. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Even that daft Belgian bird gets more laughs than me at the pool |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Jackie gets called the seagull |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Johnny is Dwight Yorke |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Peally is Harvey Price |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | but I get called Hitler |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | even Uncle Bobby thinks am a moaning bastard |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and he likes everyone |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | that Eric Bristow chucked a dart at me in the Highlander last night |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Bla is jumping about pished and filming |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Everytime I go on Facebook he's live |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | please come to Ocean Beach |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I've heard Dane Bowers will be there, Chillie loves him |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Bryan said he will rip his sleeves off if Wayne Linekar is there |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I will pay yous all in boys please |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I'll even shave Gordons chest |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | there will be vodka slush there |
