| 00:00 - 02:59 | I am going to turn this around, you two are now no longer allowed to talk to twinks |
| 00:00 - 00:03 | Chris, there is a problem that we need to tell you about |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | we have looked all over the city |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | it seems that fashions have at last changed, |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | the beard trend is officially over |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | all of the gays are in Edinburgh are now shaving |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | You fucking what? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | One of you had better explain this ken |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Christine |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | it's over |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | the world has finally seen sense |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | beards are finished |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who isn't Duchess, Bazza or Mike needs to get the fuck out now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fuck? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | How dare they, what the fuck is going on? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Don't they know the sensual beauty of face pubes on men? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | How am I going to know who wants dirty bb chem sex if everyone is clean shaven? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Fucking cunts! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I'm going to have to call the bear high council about this! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Who the fuck do these bastards think they are going off and shaving? |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | What are we now? A nation of twinks? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Chris some people find beards disguting. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | If you say that again Graeme I will kill you with my bare hands! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But Chris, you need to move with the times, beards are finished! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I will tell you when beards are finished! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | They are beautiful! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Without beards we are no better than animals! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I love nothing better than to see a big hairy man with a perfectly pruned bush of face pubes |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | all a man can do is hold onto it as he is thrown about the bedroom! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I want these turn coats who have disrespected beards here now! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | They will pay for this! I will tie them all down to chairs and make them watch G's Downton Abbey DVDs for days! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Then make them listen to him wank off about Marlene Dietrich or some other old dead crone! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | It will be torture, and it's what they deserve the cunts! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | What is this world coming to? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I had a vision, a vision of a world ruled by hairy bears |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | and now look at it. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Do you know who I blame for this? |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Justin fucking Bieber and all his fucking twink loving kind! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | People like Barry and Graeme have fucked my world up forever. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | But I will make them both pay for this, oh yes you'll pay ken! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | in fact, you will be forced to grow mingin beards yourselves! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry, he doesn't mean that |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | then you will know the joy that I feel when I rub my chin thoughtfully |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | or twiddle my moustache whilst wanking over pictures of Father Christmas. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It's wonderful |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Fucking wonderful ken |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | We cannot allow this disrespect of the beard to continue |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I will go to Bunker and rally the bears |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I will not stand for this |
